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Who is more likely my baby’s father?

Okay so my last period was April 17th and my period always lasts for five days. I had sex with my bf on April 25th using the pull out method. I believe I also had sex with him on April 28th but I can’t remember and we also had sex on April 30th But basically May 1st because it was like 1 something in the morning which I believe we went without a condom and did the pull out method. I went to some friends house the next day which was officially May 1st and had sex with a guy but we had sex at like 1 something which means it was May 2 when we had sex. I am pregnant now. My first ultrasound was on June 16 and the lady told me I was 8 weeks and 5 days which gave me a due date of January 21st but then I got a letter from my doctor that she changed my due date to January 22nd. Who is more likely to be the dad?
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134578 tn?1614729226
COMMUNITY LEADER
You have to assume that even with pulling out, your boyfriend's sperm might have gotten into your body when you had sex. You don't say whether the sex with the guy at the friend's house was protected, but it sounds like not. Even if he wore a condom, protection is not guaranteed. That means you could have had sperm from both guys in your body at the same time, on May 2, which is right when you would have ovulated according to your ultrasound. In short, it's too close to call.

A guy can have sperm in his urethra from a prior ejaculation, and when he gets an erection with you, the sperm can ride into your body in his pre-ejaculatory fluid. As of May 1, you could have had lots of living sperm in your body from your boyfriend (it can live in your reproductive tract for several days). Then you had sex with the second guy. So there would have been living sperm in your body from both guys.

Unless you have the funds to do a prenatal DNA test, unfortunately you won't be able to know who the dad is for sure until you do a DNA test once the baby comes (it costs about a tenth as much as doing one before the baby is born). I'm sorry, but there is no other way to know at this point.
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Okay so the changes in my due date don’t make a difference? I figured since she changed it to the 22 that I was actually 8 weeks and 4 days that day which would I ovulated on May 1st but I’m not sure
Ultrasound measurement of an embryo is not precise enough to say which of two guys in two days would be the father. By your eighth week, there is already a margin for error in numbers based on ultrasounds -- doctors will tell the woman a projected due date and add something like "give or take three days." Even if you had had the earliest possible ultrasound in which a baby can be seen, which would be late in the 4th week or early in your 5th week (counted from the first day of your last period), you still couldn't count on it to be exact enough to try to rule out a guy one day later than another guy. I wish medical science would be that good, but it isn't possible partly because of differences in the size and growth rates of embryos themselves.

What will happen if you tell your boyfriend you need a DNA test? Will that put you in an impossible position?

Yes it would. I literally have no idea what to do I’m really scared. His family and him are already excited for the baby and nobody knows about the other guy’s possibility literally nobody but me. My bf actually wants to do a dna test when the baby gets here which is scaring me even more. I wish there was some other way to know
If you have the big bucks for a pre-natal DNA test, you can do a test now. You would do it with a blood test from you (your arm), a swab from the other guy, and either a swab from your boyfriend, or (if you do it with one of the companies that does this kind of testing) a "discreet test" of something with your boyfriend's DNA on it, like a toothbrush of his or rub a swab on a drinking glass that he has drunk from. I don't recommend being sneaky, since in my opinion a guy deserves to know the full story of his relationship if he is going to be a father, and if the full story includes the fact that you impulsively had sex with someone else, well, it seems like he deserves to know what that means about your fidelity to him. But I know that a lot of women aren't in a position to realistically tell the guy what happened, especially if they want their guy to be a happy dad if the baby proves to be his.

Here's the thing. Of course your boyfriend deserves a DNA test. He would deserve it (as would the baby) even if you hadn't had an unexpected sexual event at the wrong time. If a man is not married to a woman and she gets pregnant, he has the right to be entirely sure before committing to 18 or 21 years of child support and emotional support for a child. And for the baby's legal safety, a DNA test is a really good thing if you are not married. It preserves the child's rights to his or her parent, and the dad's rights to the child.

Were you thinking that if the baby was from the wrong guy, you would terminate the pregnancy, or will you have the baby even if your boyfriend is not the dad? Because if you would keep the baby even if it proves to be from the other guy, figuring out how to have these discussions is not such a time-sensitive issue.

Avatar universal
Agreed, you could have had sperm in you from either or both guys when the egg came. A paternity test is the only way to know the father. If you fear revealing your infidelity to your boyfriend you could ask the casual guy to help out.
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