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DNA / Paternity Community
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Avatar universal

Who's most likely the father? The guilt is eating me alive! Please help me

Hello. I've posted here before and Im asking the same question. Because I need closure I think about this every single day. And I am really close to just getting a paternity test done. But save me from the humiliation and devastation please....
I had sex with someone on The night of October 3 and he "pulled out" It was a drunk mistake I wish I could take back.
I got my period around the 15 of October which was normal BUT! It didn't last a week like it normally did but it was still Red and heavy the first day and second.
I had sex with my boyfriend around the 28 of October. And he didn't pull out. He finished inside of me. And usually it leaks out but this time it didn't. I even joked and said "oh that's it I'm pregnant"
Well, November 15 came around and I was expecting a period. No show. Waited 5 days, still nothing. I took a test and it came out positive.
I freaked out! Because I had read of possibilities of getting a period and still being pregnant.
Made an appointment with an ultrasound tech Nov 24
She said I was 5 weeks and 4 days. Told her my story and how scared I was it could be the other guy and she assured me the baby was my Boyfriends.
In the ultrasound screen, I saw no heart beat. Just a yolk sac and a tiny little dot on the corner of it. She called it the "engagement ring" stage. The second appointment on December 8 she said I was 7 weeks and 1 day. BUT! The printed out ultrasound picture says 9weeks 1 day. I am so confused. And my son is born now and he looks exactly like me! So I can't even tell who the father is by looks because he looks like neither of them. Help me when did I most likely concieve?!
3 Responses
134578 tn?1578157483
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi, you didn't get pregnant from the sex October 3.  

Please work on this as an issue of dealing with guilt, not a question of your dates.  You didn't get pregnant from the sex on October 3, it was TOO EARLY.  You got pregnant at the end of October.  I think sometimes women obsess over the dates because it is easier to face in their mind that they had drunken sex with someone, or just behaved in a way they think of as undesirable or wrong.  The embarrassment or shame sometimes causes them to focus on something irrelevant about the event (in your case, having had sex October 3 is irrelevant).  The only way to manage the embarrassment or feeling ashamed, is to process it through and decide if you are a good person and if you need to atone, and like that.  Talk to a counselor, and work this out.  It's not about the dates.

Avatar universal
Thank you so much for responding. I know I feel like I do need to go see a counselor or just tell my Boyfriend. But if I do it will result in a paternity test and then he will know the baby is his but the love and trust between us as a couple will be gone. Even tho it is the first time I have ever cheated. I barely turned 21 so I went crazy one night. But it eats me alive.
Avatar universal
Hi kitty im in the exact same position that you were in :( and like you im young as well ( 20 years old ) but i honestly never thought id get myself into this mess, im currently 7 months pregnant. When i posted my question up in december annie also kindly commented letting me know she believes i convieved around august 14th based on a 7 week ultrasound, unfortunately i made the horrible mistake of sleeping with a friend on the 15th of july while me and my bf briefly separated :( although my bf is aware of the situation his family are not and are very happy about this pregnanacy and they have been really kind to me so the guilt i feel everyday is tearing me apart because i do still worry that the baby will come out and look like my friend and not my bf! To make things even worse my mum sadly just passed away on the 16th of january so im abit of an emotional wreck right now but i would agree with what annie said feelings of guilt can definitely cause us to fixate on things supppse we're almost punishing ourselves for making a mistake :( Its awful im considering talking to a counselor too however i am afraid of being judged :/ sorry i have no real advice for you but i just wanted to let you know that you are not alone
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