Avatar universal

Who’s the dad?

I’ve been stressing about who’s the dad so I need help pls will do paternity when baby is born . Anyways I had unprotected sex with guy #1 on oct 7 2019 only one time and had sex with guy #2 all month of October unprotected on the 2nd/6th/11th/15th/ and 19th of October my due date is July 13 and says I conceived around the 21st of October I’m worried because I’m very irregular and didn’t have a period
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134578 tn?1614729226
Hi, let's see if any of your information helps to narrow it down.

To recap:

You had sex with one guy through the month of October, no protection.

You had sex with the other guy on October 7, also no protection.

You didn't have a period beforehand because your periods don't come on a regular schedule.

Your due date is July 13.


How and when did you get the due date? (Such as, was it from an ultrasound? If so, when was that done?)

Do both guys know there is a question about paternity? Do you hope one guy is the dad instead of the other?

Helpful - 0
I did an ultrasound at 8 weeks and 12 weeks and the guy who I was with the entire month I really want him to be the father
Avatar universal
I found out I was pregnant on nov 5th
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The ultrasound was done on dec 5th and said I was 8 weeks and 4 days and on January 3rd 12 weeks and 4 days I think
134578 tn?1614729226
Did you get the due date of July 13 from your ultrasound in your 8th week?
Helpful - 0
No first I got an 8 week ultrasound then 12 week they told me my due date when I was like 16 weeks pregnant
(In other words, did the doctor say on December 5, after looking at the ultrasound, "Your due date is July 13"?
Oh, sorry, our last two posts crossed in the ether. lol

Did they tell you anything at the first ultrasound, such as the figure of 8 weeks 4 days?
Nope she just said I was 8 weeks and 4 days pregnant
Then on January I did a 12 week scan and didn’t say anything that the baby was behind or anything like that
When I found out I was pregnant on nov 5 I went to the clinic on nov 12 the doctor touched my stomach like pressed on it and said I was less than 7 weeks
OK, let's look at all of this.

As you probably can tell from reading the posts in this community, if you had not been given any kind of date at your earliest ultrasound (either of weeks or of estimated due date), information from later isn't going to help much to fill the gap. Fortunately, you do have an indicator from the first ultrasound, because they gave you the weeks GA then.

Because of your irregular cycles, your start point would have been computed based on the measurements of your baby as seen in the ultrasound. In the early days of pregnancy, this can be a pretty precise way to do it. At 8 weeks 4 days, there would have only been a margin for error of +/- 3 or 4 days when using an ultrasound to try to determine when conception might have been.

You were told on December 5 that your GA (gestational age) was 8 weeks 4 days, that points to conception on October 20, give or take three or four days.

Sperm can live in your body 4-6 days. (Some research says 7 days or even more, but no research says it is viable by then. Some research is skeptical that it is even viable by the sixth day.)

So let's take a worst-case scenario and say Mr. October 7th's sperm lived in your body until the 13th, and let's add the possibility that the ultrasound was 4 days off. (This is a real worst-case scenario: I don't think either of those things would be true.) Anyway, Mr. 7th's sperm would be dead by the 14th, and the ultrasound would only reach back to the 16th. No living sperm from Mr. 7 would be around even to make it to the furthest outreach of the margin for error of the ultrasound. It just doesn't sound like Mr. 7th has a chance.

Add to it, you had lots more exposure to Mr. Preferred Guy. (After all, he is Mr. October 2, 6, 11, 15, 19.) Amount of chances isn't everything, but it is suggestive here.

Is the baby a boy?
Yes the baby is a boy
That's even more suggestive that Mr. October 7 had nothing to do with it, then. There is a theory that sperm that produce a male baby swim faster but die sooner than sperm that produce a female. If that baby had been a girl it wouldn't have meant anything either way, but being a boy suggests you got pregnant pretty fast after having sex. In order for Mr. October 7 to be the dad, you would have to have conceived no later than October 10 in order for the baby to be a boy, and your ultrasound just doesn't support that early of a conception date.

In your shoes, I'd go through the pregnancy assuming Mr. Preferred Guy is indeed the dad. Test once the baby comes just so nobody will ever have to wonder, and then forget it.
Thank you so much , it’s good then that I did have 2 early trimester scans (8 and 12 weeks) I just have to have faith that this baby is his and you think I can go by looks? Bc prefieres guy is white and I’m white also (my skin color) and the other guy is brown-ish
It helps clarify things if candidates for dad don't look like each other, but pretty much all babies are all born looking like Mr. Magoo, and a brownish-skinned person and a white person can produce a baby of any shade including including light like you. Meaning, there's a good chance you wouldn't be able to tell by looking, at least at first. If you had written saying you had sex with Tracy Morgan, Prince Harry, and that guy who starred in Crazy Rich Asians, I'd advise that you wouldn't need a DNA test to tell who is the dad by the time the baby is a year old. But it really doesn't sound like you want to wait a year to know. If you aren't married, it will also be a good idea to have it right in the hospital record that you did a DNA test and the daddy is [name]. It's not only safer for your child (should his dad ever try to back out on child support, but don't tell the dad you want it for that reason or he might be offended), but it's also kinder to the guy who is being told he is a father. You've got to assume someone in his life has whispered to him that he should ask you for proof he is the dad before he signs up for 20 years of guilt, responsibility and worry for this kid. It might make it easier on him for you to simply offer to test, in a way like you assume that of COURSE you guys will test, since you aren't married and you want it in the baby's medical records.
and another question can a doctor be wrong of the month you got pregnant? I had relations with the preferred father on late September but I doubt it since I had an early scan
Google pix of two early ultrasounds that are 4 weeks or more apart in age, and you can see that even a layperson would not be able to confuse one with the other, and of course doctors are trained in reading ultrasounds. Babies look tons different on ultrasounds at different weeks' gestational age.
So if I were to of have gotten pregnant on sept no doubt the doctor would be able to notice the difference of a 8 week to like a 13 week ultrasound
No doubt. If you don't believe me, google "8 week ultrasound" and "13 week ultrasound." Or, if you got the photographs of yours, look at the differences. You can also find photos in books like "Your Pregnancy Week by Week."
Thank you so much for the info I will update who that dad is once I deliver
Please do update. I think it doesn't sound like you have a lot to worry about. The body is mysterious and wonderful and there's always a risk of a surprise, but your early ultrasounds are a saving grace here and indicate the dad is who you want him to be.
Avatar universal
I’ve watched like videos of ultrasounds week by week what worries me is that what if they mistaken my 8 week ultrasound so a 9 week like what if the baby was 9 weeks on dec 5th
Helpful - 0
I just don't see a doctor mistaking things on an ultrasound.
Thank you very much for the info makes me feel a bit better
One last question , they changed my due date to July 16 why is that?
It's not uncommon for a doc to look at a later ultrasound and adjust the due date based on the size of the baby and its development. It doesn't impact the question you have here.
Could it mean that I possibly conceived later?
If they changed the due date in your second trimester, it doesn't mean much in terms of conception date.
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