Who is the father of my child

[Xyloto]

This is going to date back about 3 years but I am now pregnant again and have a few questions that I need to clarify for my first pregnancy.

Let’s start with my period dates back in 2018
My November period began November 4-5 I believe and ended around the 9th the 9th it was really light the last time I ever saw guy #1 was November 9th and i can’t clearly remember if he finished inside of me or not. Fast forward to December I had my period or what I suspect to be my period December 2-7 and I will explain why I say suspected. I was with guy number 2 from November 12 and on. I found out I was 4 weeks 5 days pregnant on January 1,2019 via intravaginal ultrasound. I’m not sure if I was given the due date of sep 7 from ultrasound or by the ultrasound. But the due date stayed the same throughout the entire pregnancy. I didn’t end up making it to my due date being that my water broke and I gave birth on august 19 with my baby weighing at 5lbs 2 oz. Now I raise this question because I am currently pregnant according to my last period of January 13 and my intravaginal ultrasound on March 3 I should have been 7 weeks 1 day but my scan was measuring 5 weeks 5 days could that mean that my previous pre pregnancy could have been the same? Could I have been further along more than 4 weeks because they did see a fetal
Pole then and measured smaller than what I was and confused my period for implantation bleeding and guy number 1 has a chance at being the father because my water broke earlier than my due date? I’m just so nervous and scared and want this cleared up.

[AnnieBrooke]

If they told you on January 1 that you were at 4 weeks 5 days GA,  and if your last period began on December 2, the count would not have been based on your last period but on your ultrasound measurements, because counting from your last period would have been 5 weeks 2 days or thereabouts.

Anyway, nothing in your information suggests that the baby was four weeks more developed than they were telling you. It sounds like they accurately represented what they saw in the ultrasound.

[Xyloto]

So guy #2 has to be the father ?

[AnnieBrooke]

If the last time you slept with the first guy was November 9 (which would be pretty early in your menstrual month for ovulation if you prior period was on November 4 or 5), at your first ultrasound the baby would be a visible baby and not just a sac with a fetal pole. Also, your baby would have been overdue by August 19, instead of weighing only 5 lbs. 2 ounces. Plus, you had ultrasounds after that and nobody ever said, "Oops! We were off by 4 weeks in measuring this baby!" From all of that, it seems like you didn't get pregnant from guy #1.

[Xyloto]

So what your saying is that according to my ultrasounds I FOR SURE conceived in December ? Sorry my nerves are a mess.

[AnnieBrooke]

I'm having a little trouble understanding what you are worried about. You say it's because of the second baby. Can you explain what about the second baby makes you ignore all the medical evidence about your first baby?

[AnnieBrooke]

Because, it sounds like you are saying that although you expected (based on your last period) the second baby to be in its 7th week, they told you that it was in only its 5th week. This would suggest you ovulate later, not earlier, in your cycle (or at least, you did this time), and that doesn't suggest anything about babies beginning 4 weeks earlier. If anything, it suggests babies beginning about a week and a half later.

[AnnieBrooke]

In trying to figure out why your second baby has you so worried about the first baby's paternity, here's what it *sounds* like you are saying:

"If baby number 2  'should' be 7 weeks 1 day according to my last period," [setting aside that this is an inaccurate way to judge when the next ovulation will be, see below], "but was measuring 5 weeks 5 days, (1 week 3 days younger than expected), does this mean my babies measure younger in ultrasounds than they really, truly are? And could this therefore mean that baby number 1, in a scenario where the wrong guy is the dad, was secretly actually four weeks older than the ultrasounds said, for the whole pregnancy?"

Um, no.

First of all, these are two different babies. One measuring a little smaller than you expect doesn't mean the other measured a lot smaller than anyone realized. It's not like measuring small on an ultrasound runs in families or anything.

More important, an ultrasound shows what exists. It doesn't look into your uterus and show what the baby looked like weeks ago. It shows the baby as it is, the day of the ultrasound. The doctor who read the ultrasound of your current baby knows the difference between an embryo at 7w1d  and at 5w5d.  If your present ultrasound showed a baby that measures 5 weeks 5 days GA, the baby is at 5w5d GA, no matter when your last period came.

And the doctor, the computer in the ultrasound machine, and the ultrasound tech all sure as heck know the difference between a 4th-week embryo and an 8th-week embryo. If an ultrasound shows just a fetal pole, the baby is in its 4th week, not its 8th week. Presumably you also had ultrasounds all through that pregnancy, and none showed the baby to be four weeks older than its identified GA.

About last periods -- the "start" day for a menstrual month is the day you ovulate. Ovulation begins things, the period ends things. Some women then go weeks before ovulating again if her body doesn't feel like popping out an egg. A baby measuring 1 week 3 days younger than you expected just means you ovulated 1 week 3 days later than you might have if your cycles were always 28 days long like clockwork and you always ovulate on day 14. You ovulated a little later than average, that is all.

In the scenario you drew up, you also had someone (you or the doctor?) confuse your period for implantation bleeding, to explain away why the baby came from sex and then you had a period. Implantation bleeding is basically an Internet myth that women write about to scare each other or encourage each other (if they are trying to get pregnant and got a period). But it doesn't produce period-like blood if it even happens. An embryo is infinitesimally tiny. When it implants in the uterine lining, it usually gives no sign whatsoever. In the rare case, there might be a tiny little wisp of blood in the vaginal secretions one time. It doesn't produce days of bleeding.

I don't see any reason that your second baby measuring a week and 3 days younger than expected would lead you to the conclusion that your first baby was somehow measuring 4 weeks younger than it really was. It would take entirely ignorant medical team (doctors, nurses, ultrasound techs, delivery team) not to notice such a salient fact about the baby over nine months of pregnancy.

If the idea that you had sex with the first guy is just eating you alive, see a counselor or therapist, and talk over why you're obsessing about it. Or, just get a DNA test, if it would stop the worry. I suggest a DNA test would be a waste of money, though. Nothing about your first pregnancy suggests you got pregnant from the first guy.

Good luck!

[AnnieBrooke]

If all they saw was a fetal pole, 4-weeks plus is about right. An 8th-week embryo has arms, legs, and head, looks like a little teddy bear and is often swimming around. If you want, look up photos of embryos in the 4th week and the 8th week. They look worlds different.

Also, if guy 1 had been the father, all your subsequent ultrasounds would have shown this by the baby being that much further developed, and the baby would not have weighed only 5 lbs. 2 ounces when born.

[Xyloto]

Let me correct some things

I’m not sure if the due date was dated from the ultrasound or my last period and I also had another ultrasound around January 11-12 and it was measuring 6 weeks but nothing was visible yet in the ultrasound. If that helps at all.