I posted some time ago about a 3 year old leg ulcer, it's almost 4 years now. Now on the other leg I have a massive ulcer on my shin, a recent wound. The skin turned to a jelly like substance and washed away with running water. It is just open flesh with no skin to protect it from the elements. Going through your lists, I recognised DVT as something the surgeon at the hospital said was the cause of my problems.
The pain is so bad, I have never known anything like it. It's 24 hours a day as the pain will not let me sleep.When I do dose off, I wake up expecting hours to have passed, but to my dismay, just 10 minutes has passed. I kept a record and I am getting less than 90 minutes a WEEK.
I don't know how much longer I can put up with this constant pain. I have seriously considered taking an overdose. I have access to very strong tablets that will do me bad damage, but what has prevented me so far is the thought that I could end up with brain damage and be a vegitable but still have the pain and be unable to comunicate with anyone.
It's a bit like out of the frying pan and into the fire. In the long run, the other thing that stops me doing anything really stupid is the fact that I am going into hospital next month. I am due to have all sorts of things done to me which I do not understand.I am also having a procedure called, 'VNUS closure'. It will not heal my wounds but will help my blood circulation to do natures natural healing process.
I must have done something really terrible sometime during my life, and now I am paying for it. I thought you went to hell after you died.
I just needed to tell someone what I am going through, mentally it helps to share problems. Also I am pretty sure I'm not the only one going through this .
Thank you for taking the time and trouble to read this.
django47