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ORAl CANCER - DEATH BY DEFAULT?

In February 2007 I began to use a mouthwash, an expensive one and said to be gentle and bought it off the shelf.  In march 2007 I found that I have a red area in the very pit of the palate on the roof of my mouth approx 2cm dia.  In April 2007 I visited my doctor (UK) about the red area he stated that it was not a typical oral cancer and that it was more than likely related to the condition of my teeth and he said I should see a hygienist. In the meantime he gave me some steroid tablets and told me to overtreat it with mouthwashes on demand when I had completed the steriods, but the course of steriods made my mouth much worse it was so sore I can't begin to tell you how bad it was.  I have an acute fear of the dentist and despite my doctors recommendation I cannot get past the phone to ring the dentist let alone go in to the entrance to the dentist because of this terrible phobia.  By June 2007 I had developed a v shaped lump behind my two central top front teeth, this sometimes all but disappears (usually in the mornings) and gives me no pain at all, and is smack in the centre.

The red area on roof of mouth continued to spread and by October 2007 it was extremely sore, it had covered 95% of the top of my mouth (did not affect gums on the outerside)  and was bleeding in parts and yet again all the skin peeled away (mouth had peeled like this since March 2007 continuously) I gargled with many mouth washes over the months but a strong salt water solution did the trick and in early November 2007  it started very slowly to heal - as of now roof of mouth now feels completely smooth, although the natural ridges are greadually reappearing behind my top front teeth, its no longer sore and the red patch is now a bluey colour and is half the size, but has spread a little (2cm approx length) either side down the back of my throat, in a "erratic" pattern.     Another complication - at the back of my throat (2 weeks ago to be exact) a yellow butterfly shape of flesh has appeared, covering the throat area behind the tonsils,  a white fairly thick wiggly vein which travels from dangling fleshy thing at the back of my throat which has something growing on it  - I don't know what its called, right up through this butterfly of yellow flesh to the midline and meets the area where this v shape lump is at the back of the  front  teeth, this lump is about 1cm in length and 10mm dia -  

Would you agree that I have to deal with the fact that  it is after all actually cancer and as I have left the whole scenario for quite a while I will loose my voice box and both palates? and if they won't treat me as I suspect and I do not to go the surgery route how much time do you think I may have before I die of it ?  I am in no pain and feel healthy otherwise.  As far as I know The NHS (national health service) are now under instruction from the government in UK where I live not to treat self inflicted  illness in patients - (I am ashamed to say that I have smoked for 25 years but have given up now,    Its an awful addiction I wish I had never started) I gave up for the 199th time when this yellow thing at the back of my throat appeared 2 weeks ago and despite this  -  this cancer/illness will be  deemed to be self inflicted by the NHS so theres no point going back to the doctors.  I would just like to know an approximation as to how long I have got if I don't have half my head cut away and what if any alternative option I may have.   I have no life anymore anyway because of this whole scenario.

For your info My last dental check up was in January 2007 as I had suffered with extreme pain for over a year with a top tooth at the back of the mouth -  I had attempted to remove the offending tooth myself but in the end I had to go to a dentist where it was extracted.  Future treatment was scheduled at that time  I couldn't go back I would have had to pay - with the sedation and everything it was just too expensive for me to manage and I don't have private insurance.

I take a beta blocker but I don't think the problem in my mouth is  because of that.  Its a low dose one and I don't take it very often now that the smoking has stopped - I can tell my bp is lower, I can't hear it any more, now and again my heart beats very quickly but they are looking at that as other than the speed theres no abnormality on my ecg.   I suppose I will get an appointment through at the hospital in a few months about that but if the redness in the mouth etc could be due to that drug please let me know.

Please feel free to ask me any question if you need further info -  Thanks very much indeed for your help.

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taipei, Taiwan
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