I am so sorry this happened to you, no one should have to go through that.
I am not sure what is going on but it sounds like decay due to either meth use or crack cocaine. I'm just being honest. If you do not do drugs then I have no idea what could cause your teeth to suddenly start falling apart. It could be that you have severe fluorosis, but the dentist would've picked up on that and you wouldn't have previously had beautiful teeth. Hard to say. The extractions won't be that bad. I doubt they'll have to cut your gums. They will just have to dig the roots out. Dentures are the way to go for someone in your situation.