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soft palate and dentures

How far back into the soft palate should dentures extend? Since having my immediate dentures done I have not been able to use them other than to glue them in during my working hours as a cashier.
when I first got them in, the first thing I noticed was an over bite I nevr had. they extended way up into my nasal cavity and pushed my upper lip all the way up to my nose way out... they were(are) so far back into my soft palate and beyond the back ends of my gums and so thick, I could not even negociate my tongue without gaging. As I went in for adjustments I kept being told we cannot do anything about the teeth, everyone has an over bite. As they brought the top down out of my nose cavity, I had huge gaps immediately, so much so that my upper lip would rest on the top of the denture plate if I smiled. I kept hearing it would get better in time...but it is so much worse...
My last visit to the dentist( which will be my very last) I gave up( it is the three month mark). al he did was preach to me how this is just the way dentures are, it was my fault for needing them in the first place, that it was my state of mind,not hte dentures but hat he could fix them for more money.
I am totally humiliated and depressed that I spent so much money on immediate dentures, obviously a very big mistake on my part that I cannot take back. Ripped to shreads any trust I had for dentristy.
I have used up all of my dental insurance for this year, hundreds out of pocket and a loan( for the dentures) working on my teeth this year between cleanings filling and then this...and now I am in an even worse position.
I only had 6 top front teeth left when this started. All of them had ben rebuilt numerous times after they started to crumble an or break after having my children and was told that eventually I would have to have dentures. Thisyear they were once again starting to break off at the gum, so I went ahead. I wish now I had had the guts to go without immediates, I really didnt think it would be this aweful.
Ihave head aches when I wear them, glued in with sea bond and fix o dent....they rock...I gag on words...I cannot eat anything with them in, even suck through a straw. If I talk to much with them in bubles pop out from the top and they begin to slip.
I will not be able to afford to replace them till spring of next year IF my insurance will cover the cost. And, I am sure this dentist is glad to be rid of me.
I used a dental office NOT to go through this alone, but here I am.
This particular office believes there is nothing wrong with what is or has been going on, I disagree buthave no recourse.
My word to the wise, think it over again if you are considering immediate dentures. Do not assume because your dental office is good at other things they will be your best choice for this procedure.
If I get the chacne to correct this situation for myself I will definately choose an office that specializes in thi and this alone...friendly faces do not necessarily mean friendly treatment when things go bad, after all it is a business and business is about making money.
Even at 50 years old, after years o hiding my smile...as prepared as I was to go through this to better myself...I cannot express the total depression and humlilation I am experiencing and there is nothing I can do about it but spend more money( that I do not have).
Oh enough of me.....just think it over better than me....and get what you pay for.
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taipei, Taiwan