Anti-social behavior

[dook]

Ok, I've begun to realize something lately... I have no desire to go out into the world, or to interact with society. Though I have always had a view where I wasn't a fan of people, I think this is much worse. I never want to see them... my attitude has become much worse, where I am basically mean to everyone, even my family, just because I'd rather not be around them, or anyone else. I would rather be placed in solitude, with nothing but my computer. Now I know this is one of my problems.. the computer. It's more than a hobby, its my life. I get a lot of work through the computer, and when I'm not working on something, I find something to read so that I can teach myself (that is why I don't even watch TV rarely at all... it is pure entertainment, leaving it to be nothing but a waste of time, nothing constructive comes out of it).

Right now I am 4 months away from leaving home and going to college. I will be moving 1500 miles away and obviously taking complete control of my life. Now, it wonders me, once I move, will I then cut off all contact with the real world? Since it is purely my choice, will I be living in complete isolation?

I have no desire to have a "significant other"... I can't bring myself around to love, I always just use the girls until I get bored with them.

I am just really looking for some advice here on whats going on... I hope you can help.

-Ky

[cayman]

Please i also need some help. As stated above, some people are less social than others. I am somewhere in between but have lately been keeping out of social situations. to me, the depression is really not that big of a deal. Its more the anxiety. sometimes it is unbearable. i get a dry-knot feeling in my throat and i swallow hard(for lack of a better term), then i feel like i'm acting weird/making a weird noise. Sometimes i am fine. anyone have any idea what is goin on? i dunno if its panic attacks, anxiety attacks or what? i am also going to be heading off to college and i want to be able to focus and take back my life. i have been keeping out of high anxiety situations and its hurting my life. i'm not the most social,but i do like to go out and have fun and i have not been doing so. any advice/info. please

[happystill]

Dook, I don't know if you will come back to the board after your posting last month but your posting sounds very typical of a young guy who is going away to college.  These are fairly typical feelings for your age.  You haven't mentioned friends and that is where it deviates.  Not wanting to be around your family is also fairly normal at your age.  Using women is unfortunately fairly usual for your age.  The process you haven't hit yet is maturing into a responsible, caring, enlightened adult.  That happens with time.  That you are aware of your feelings is a good sign and if you don't make efforts to improve your isolation issue, you may want to seek medical help.  BUT, being slightly depressed, majorly irritable and uncaring sounds a lot like my two brothers when they went away to college and each time they came back for the summer.  They were miserable to be around.  But, they grew up and found their way.  My own mom has warned me of these symptoms when my own two hit teenage and college years.  Hang in and stay aware,  If these don't improve, seek professional help.  By the way, I have lived and learned the hard way, IF YOU CAN'T BE PROUD OF YOUR BEHAVIOR, CHOOSE A DIFFERENT BEHAVIOR.  This philosohpy will make you proud of yourself and more confident.
Peace!

[Keegan]

Dook,

You may want to set up an appt with a therapist and review what is going on with yourself.  If you enjoy being alone, that is fine.  That is the true you.  But, stop using girls. You may feel all this pressure because, you are moving away soon.

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

There is definitely something going on, but its not possible to pin-point it with this information. You have the symptoms of a depression, but it is most likely your depression is related to the big transition in your life that is coming up...its one of the biggest in your life time. I have written about it extensively in my book "Transformations" which you may still be able to get online( out of print) or other books on the subject. YOu can also get help on line in figuring out what is going on by taking the MASTERINGSTRESS program ( link above) and asking for a professional review by me.  Otherwise I suggest you see a counselor to sort this out.  Its not all that uncommon, and it is usually transitory.

[bodekar]

While the TV ads will tell you that if you aren't smiling and hugging those around you, that there is something wrong and you need medication...don't be fooled.

Some people aren't very social animals.  This may be amplified lately because you are leaving to go to school and may be subconsciously "cutting off" those around you to make it easier for you to leave.

Once College starts you'll have no choice but to be social.  It's difficult to hide away on a college campus.  Particularly if you find people you like who share your view of the world....which is more likely at college than in your hometown.

If you're constantly depressed, that's another issue and you may want to look into treatment.  If you're not associating with people because you don't like them....that's a preference and it's human.

All my opinion.  Good luck.

[dook]

If anyone reads this and has an opinion.. let me just say.. I am in no way depressed.. I am actually very happy. Happier than most people.. cause I just don't care and do what makes me happy.