BPD/Bi-Polar

[M Britton]

I am 32 year old female who has attempted suicide at least 4 times.. The last time was almost a year ago.. I also self-injure and just last month I was upset that I ended up cutting my arm severe enough that I needed 8 stitches and nearly hit a tendon..This was not intented as a suicide attempt...I have seen many Psychiatrists and been to many therapists all resulting in really no help.. I have been told I am bi-polar II, ADD, suffer from depression and many BPD characteristics..  I have been on numerous medications including Neurontin, Depakote, Cylert,
Ritalin, Klonopin, Valium, Wellbutrin, Prozac and Zoloft.. None of these have really benefited me and in fact last year when i attempted suicide I was on Klonopin, Wellbutrin, Cylert and Depakote.. At that point in my life I couldn't even hold down  a job I was so medicated.. I also have had numerous problems with alcohol and sometimes a drink will really send me over the edge.  My family thinks I am just weak and always looking for a crutch...My fiance thinks I am moody and tempermental.. Sometimes I think I am just crazy.. I have been in several treatment facilities all of which I have checked myself out of..I never I felt I was getting any valuable help.
I just recently started taking Zoloft, at the advice of my family physician..
I was gang raped at the age of 15 by some so-called "friends" and I never really have been able to confront that or work through it..It is just too painful.. A couple of different therapist have told me I needed to work talk about and it and work through it but so far I have not and in fact when pressured to really bring that up I end up leaving the therapist entirely. Could something like that really be at the root of my mental problems?? Is there any medication that works for self-injury and suicidal tendencies??  I feel as if I am at my wits end.

[Timothy C]

so thi sis what u satake

Effexor XR 300mg at bedtime

Depakote 2000mg at bedtime


Trazadone 50mg at bedtime


and if neede:
Risperadol 10mg if needed for anxiety
seroquil 50mg if needed for anxiety

[Timothy C]

ok I realize you are bi polar like me
but I noticed I am not doagnosed yet but very soon I have to just keep
one doc with the moodswings changing
my residents and dr changed
so what did u say to your dr or whoever diagnoseed you so they realized u have bi polar
because sometimes they want you to explain it ot them if you can thank you details ar e welcomed

[Pieater]

Tim,  I'm also bipolar and it sucks.  I was DX a year and 6 months ago.  I'm still getting my meds straight and dealing with episodes but not as bad as before.  My advice is to talk as much as you can to someone, your theripist or Dr's, a friend even.  Someone that will not judge you.  I also have a person that I trust that I call when I believe I'm being paranoid or not thinking straight.  They will tell me if I'm acting normally or if I need to go to the ER and get some help.  My last episode ended my relationship and I'm dealing with that now, which sucks even more.  When you cant trust your thoughts or actions it really is something to think about, and that is another problem because your thoughts race without any more stress from the outside!  I read a book called "An Unquiet Mind" it helped me a little and I try to read as much as I can about bipolar and the signs of episodes, I track my moods to try and figure out what if any cycle I'm in, even if it can be tracked I dont know.  I hate being helpless against this chemical in my brain that controls my life.  

I'm taking
Effexor XR 300mg at bedtime
Depakote 2000mg at bedtime....thats right 2000mg, I started on 250mg per day
Trazadone 50mg at bedtime
Risperadol 10mg if needed for anxiety
seroquil 50mg if needed for anxiety

Your email address was blocked so here is where we will have to meet and talk.  

thanks- pieater

[Timothy C]

I have bi polar
I have been diagnose for a short time now
but have had this simple illness my whole life
sure with that being said
I am on riddlin now I been on depakote cyprexa lexapro before
my dr is experimenting with me because I don ttalk much
Im so down and my moodswings are very severe
I know it  is
different for everyone
I know but I believe I need a mood stab pil and a anti deppr I am sure
any suggestions for a combonation
I see my doc next week

clozapine
depakote
or
Topamax
wellbutrin
my email address is
***@****
if u like to email me
I am hoping to meet someone who has experince in this field you dont have to
be professional
even if u know someone with bi polar like
me I am just curious whatthey are taking and how its working I need a suggestion to
run across my doc
he depends on me and I dont talk much
so much racing thoughts etc commen plz
I lokk forward

[Cheryl]

Try another psychiatrist or psychologist.  There are ones out there who care enough to treat you.  I have a family like yours.  I have been married to my fourth husband for 16 months.  he has been through hell.  I lost a Government job and have a felony conviction for being misdiagnosed as depressed for 8 years instead of the correct bi-polar diagnosis.  I am taking Depakote 1250 per day, and have 1 more semester after this to complete my Bachelor's degree in Psychology with a 3.50 GPA.  Take care and look ahead--you will get there.

[d]

Dear M Britton,

I also have an unsupportive family who thinks my depression and anxiety disorder are a sign of weakness.  I've come a long way in my recovery and have surrounded myself with loving, caring people who understand mental illness, and can support me in times of crisis.  You didn't choose to be ill but you can choose who you allow into your life.  Good luck and please know you're not alone!

[HFHS M.D.-SW]

Dear M Britton

From your history, you have undergone multiple stressors and have
multiple symptoms.
It is possible to have multiple diagnosis based on your personal
psychiatric history and the different signs and symptoms you currently have.

It is not uncommon for Borderline Personality Disorder to be co-morbid with other conditions, especially bipolar disorder, major depression, panic disorder and substance abuse.
It is doubtful that the gang rape caused all of your problems.  But it sounds as though it has caused some, related to trust and relationships.
It may also help fuel your anxiety and depression.
I recommend you continue with therapy.  In all probability, the therapy will be long-term. It may not be easy, but it may be better than suffering with so many problems.

IF YOU ARE FEELING SUICIDAL GO TO THE NEAREST EMERGENCY ROOM.
Address your concerns with your psychiatrist.
Best wishes to you.


HFHS M.D.-SW