afraid that I might have a mental disorder..

[Lich_Queen]

People told me that I should get some help because I've been feeling very strange, they think that there is something mentally wrong with me so I wonder. I noticed that my behavior has changed and got quite worse.. I will tell you something about me, so that you know what are you dealing with.. I know that I shouldn't ask for a diagnosis, but I'm just asking for help and for a possibility - if there is one.. my life is hurting.. school.. family..

I felt depressed whole my life, but it never got this bad.. Now I have constant thoughts of suicide for weeks.. I'm feeling down, exhausted, I can barely concentrate on anything, I don't have any motivation.. I just feel like sleeping all day.. I don't eat much or I sometimes eat too much.. I feel so hopeless..

I have a fear of people. I don't like to be in a place where there is a lot of people, heck, I don't wanna be near people at all.. they are always doing something bad to me, they always talk about me.. I can't walk normally on street because of them. they are always watching, thinking, spying on you, even when you don't see them, they are always there.. I don't have many friends, I am even detaching from thous I have..

I can't think properly.. everything is so mixed in my head. I have so much to say but I don't know how. it might slip something.. I talk very understandable to everyone. they say I talk too fast, and that I just say something and they just stare not getting what I said. They just don't get my way.. they say I'm eccentric..

it bothers me that I can't find my purpose here on this world. I know I have a mission here but I seem to not get what it is. maybe this life is just a test for me. I bothers me so much.. how can I do what I'm meant to if I don't know what that is???

I don't know the cause of this behavior, but it might had something to do with magic. maybe someone has put a spell on me.. that thing is pretty much real. I know from the personal expirience that this thing is real..

thank you

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

Your friends are right to encourage you to get help, and I would add  to that .  You should get help right now..its important, and there are medications that can reverse this quite quickly.    You need to see a psychiatrist who can evaluate and treat you...call your local suicide hot line, ask for emergency help and a referral to a good  psychiatrist.

[SadieSunflower]

My sibling used to have the same troubles like you, but he found a good psychiatrist and now he feels much better. You don't have to live in fear and confusion all the time. Please find someone you trust and tell them you want help. Go to the hospital or go to a psychiatrist with a friend or family member who will help you.