Not sure what is going on!?

[Mable2]

I am a 30 year old female, just starting my 4th month of pregnancy, and I have no history of mental health problems. Something strange happened today and it really scared me. My co-worker came by with her 8 week old infant and of course I just had to hold her. Well about 10 minutes into holding her, I had the strangest thoughts racing through my head, such as "I am going to drop the baby" or " what if I throw the baby". I had a horrible feeling/urge that physically I would do something that I of course would not want to do. It scared me so I gave her back to her mom. Now I know when I don't eat, which I had not at the time, my blood sugar drops and I get weak and dizzy. But never this crazy type of thing. After eating, and deep breathing I came back to my senses. And of course I was able to hide this from everyone. This has Never happened before. I do not worry much about anything and I'm not overly worried about my pregancy. In fact, I am happier than I have ever been. I have always been grounded and rational, caring and kind. So this was VERY scary. Do you know why this happened? Is this a symptom of something? How do I prevent it from happening again? Thanks.

[Peagee]

Might also simply be normal subconscious fear showing itself stemming from the knowledge that you are soon to take on a huge responsibility.  Just like worrying before starting a new but important job - this can lead to "what if I mess up, what if I make a mistake, what if I can't do it, what if I get fired and then end up without money for home, food, etc" feelings.  I'm sure we can all think of lots of situations we've been faced with where we start doubting ability, start maybe having the odd bad dream that relates to that situation, etc.  Its perfectly normal to worry about forthcoming heavy responsibilities.  And its normal for those worries to show themselves in all sorts of little ways.  Thats what being a human being in a complicated world is all about.   Reading some sort of abnormality into the normal complex thinking process that we're DESIGNED with is just what leads to labels that lead to drugs.

You're normal.  You have normal worries.  You're just a normal human being.

[RiTuaL]

I have had similar disturbing thoughts.. thinking disturbing, often violent, things - which you know you would never act upon.

Unlike the doctor, I have a different spin on the nature of these things.  I think they are distractionary thoughts.  Something is going on in your life (possibly subconciously) that is causing significant stress.  Mix that with tyical hormone issues during pregnancy and possible dietary issues, and you could have your culprit.

Personally I would get wierd thoughts like these ("what if I just flung the car off the side of the road" - while I was going 70mph down the highway.. what if I just violently went off on this person next to me... etc..)  These are ways my mind distracts itself from the stress and axiety issue(s) that I face.  Weather this is true or not - the events coincide, and I've never acted out on them.  There's a difference between being emotionally ill and mentally ill.

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

The thoughts themselves are not at all unusual, but the intensity is something that warrants a little more introspection. These sudden, out of the blue, thoughts are almost always traceable to early childhood concerns.  In your case I can only speculate from experiences with other patients. Here is my guess...meant only as a way to get you started thinking about the origin so you can put it to rest.

My guess is you have a younger sibling, between 2-4 years younger than you. You were either given, or took, some responsibility to care for him when he or she was only an infant. Your own pregnancy dredges up memories of the past that are long forgotten, and your friends child triggered the memory.

If you can respond to these guesses with whatever are the facts and feelings you remember, it will be useful to others who read this.  Look forward to your posting.