Childhood memory loss and current memory loss

[tiekie]

I have problems remembering my childhood.  I recall that when I was about seven that I had nightmares about a certain man and sexual acts, and I did not understand why I had these dreams about this person until I asked my stepmother and se confirmed that I was sexualy abused by this person when I was about 4 years old, and since then I seem to remember the acts clearly but not anything else, I was also abused by my stepmother and can remember that, I can not remember every time it happend only the realy bad ones.  Altough I remember these things I can not remember anything else.  My brother would talk about something that I have done whent we were small and I will not be able to recall it at all.  I can not remember playing or most of my school years.  I do not know it this has anything to do with my past, but what is happening recently is that I am doing things and I can not remember doing them.  I would remember to switch on the geyser and then forget about it again, then I would remember to do it when I want to put it on, I have already done it, but I can not remember doing it, another time I went to fetch the tv remote in the sitting room, then I got sidetracked by having to poor my child some coldrink, when I got back to the room, I remembered about the tv remote, but when I got to the sitting room it was gone.  I found it in the passage on the heater and I could not remember putting it there at all.  These things are happening more and more and it makes me feel stupid and scared.  Why is this and what can I do to make it better.  Please can you help

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

You are describing a familiar pattern for people who were abused in childhood. The best thing you can do for yourself is get some abuse counseling or psychotherapy..you need to clear your mind of those things that are being actively pushed away, and effecting your short term memory..

[frutrated63]

I had a very similar experience.  I had no memories of my childhood prior to the age of 13, I also had a lot of problems with memories in my current life.  I knew that i dealt with what i deemed 'emotional abuse and somewhat neglect' as I was growing up, but no other memories of sexual abuse.  I did not want to create memories that were not real.  Since then I have been SLOWLY working with a very good trauma therapist and doctor who knows about that stuff and have begun to uncover a lot of things.  I am also slowly getting my memory of my childhood back.  It's not easy, but from what you have said, you really do need to work with someone who is knowledgeable about childhood trauma, preferably sexual abuse.  A good place to try getting a referal is either the American Psychological Association or Sidran Foundation.
Good luck and God Bless You.

[kalia7]

Wow,

Sounds like what I had gone through too as a little girl. I can totally understand what you are going through girl. Its hard to remember the full detail of the abuse, but it is something that we will never forget. It took me a long time through numerous therapys to finally forgive my abuser and share my story with the world. Just so you know, you are not alone, and you are taking a major step already in recovering.

God Bless,

Kalia7