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Criticism For Too Much Smiling

I am in my mid forties. All my life different walks of people in a wide varieties of settings have come to the same conclusion about me when I try to socialize:"What are smiling bout"? In short, they stare me down and don't understand why I smile.

In my head, I have preconceived ideas about everyone. I don't see people wanting to get along, they want to compete in every endeavor. Sometimes I am shocked when people actually think of me or even use my first name which is an odd-ball name" Kirk". As a boy,(Ages 0-12)my mother was routinely beaten by my father. He still lives today as a selfish hermit on an 120 acre parcel that used to be a dairy farm. My mother vented some on me after her beatings, but she has the "Smiling too Much disorder too". I think she just has it with me though. I have studied her around others and she does not smile so much to them.

In my case, I smile as I communicate with every human I associate with.
1 Responses
242532 tn?1269550379
I can only guess but here it is.  The kind of smile you describe is more like a mask that covers up what you are really thinking, and probably has both a defensive look to outsiders, and a smirk condescending aspect, as if saying what you said you are thinking about people.  The best thing you can do for yourself is to start sorting out what you are feeling, what you have learned since you were a child about what is real and what is memory/feeling.  It would be best to do this with someone close to you that you trust, and if not, with a therapist.
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