Lost my ability to make desisions and find a home.

[dogon]

I lost my mother in 2000,and my family of 3 brothers moved to differant parts of the country.We lived in north MI and I have been trying to sell our home for 4 years.we finaly did and have taken trips to the south and decided on Hot Springs AR.and we are looking at building a home,I have had a feeling of being alone,and having no family.2 of my brothers are in wichita,I even went there for 1month to see if we could live there. My wife found job offers and we looked at homes. My third brother is bouncing from myrtle beach and back to michigan for work.I can not get a feeling of HOME.I like hot springs and when I am not here I want to come back, but when I am here, I want to move near family,when I am near family the feeling I want and closness is not there.My wife is getting upset with me not being able to make up my mind. I am 45 yo. and we have been married for 26 years.I used to be able to just make a desision and make it work good one or not. Now I second guess every move I make.I am even feeling a longing for MI and know this is normal when you leave a familar place.I just can not stand the snow and cold in the winter.I know I will feel better if I have a house with my things around me. but I have never felt so undecided before.I lived in florida for 7ys and visited my family once a year and was fine. Now every thing that should bring me joy is empty.We have not been able to have children and I do not know if this is a subconcious problem or not.I used to dislike children

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

You start out your question with a statement about loss, and it seems to me that is where you have to start figuring out  what is going on.  You are at that age when people start looking for a deeper connection and purpose, and being without a family of your own makes you yearn more for your original family, which can't be recomposed anymore...adults far flung, and the death of your mother... That is what you are looking for when you move from place to place...you will have to find your home with yourself and your wife, not in a place.

[BluerOcean]

You are not alone - but your childhood is gone.  You'll always have the memories and let them take the place of your longing.
26 years of marriage is a very strong foundation in your life, strong enough to withstand your unsettledness.  Moving is one of the top 5 stressors in an adult's life so don't be hard on yourself.

I'm sorry about your mom.  Losing a parent is a devastating loss.
Take care