Yes, there is hope, but it is not with medication alone. You have to understand the triggers, why you are responding so strongly, and the origins of your self loathing. These can be handled with a good psychotherapist. That is what you should be doing.
Oh my god!!! You are going through the EXACT same thing as me. Its so hard for me to put it in words... I cant explain exactly how this "****" feels. But it is the most horrible feeling. "Death" is my biggest fear. I get so upset sometimes where i get real suicidal but then I freak out a minute later just thinking about DYING! I then start to have a panic attack! I dont have the $$$ to get Zoloft yet.... but I will begin to take them as soon as I get money! I hope it works. I wonder if Zoloft helps any!!! Well... good luck to you... and know that I do understand exactly how you feel and I need help also! *CKivlan at Hotmail dot com*
You need to find a good therapist who specializes in PD's; the best treatment program at the moment is called Dialectical behavioral Therapy, developed by Marsha Linehan in Seattle.
Check out the 'treatments/medications' resources in my website for more details and links on BPD.
best of luck! There IS hope: one of my best friends is a recovered Borderline!