Anxiety and depression forever

[lwalker]

I wish I could cover all the things going on in my mind but all I know is that I need help.  I even feel like I shouldn't be on this computer because something will happen....I am destroying my marriage with distrust...I have done it before...I have had sucidal thoughts....can't concentrate....can't focus on a job...quit last week....don't know what else to do ...I have been on prozac and others took myself off....can't afford it anymore....Am I all alone?

[grrlfriend]

Hi "l" ! ;)

From what you write, you sound like someone suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).  Your symptoms all match exactly, although you certainly can't diagnose over the internet.

For more info and lots of links for support groups, medication, best types of therapy, etc., please check out the sites below right away.  

Best of luck!  You are NOT alone, and you might be amazed at how similar your life and experiences are to many, many other folks out there.

http://www.mhsanctuary.com
http://www.bpdcentral.com
http://www.soulselfhelp.on.ca

There are lots of chat groups, etc, for both you and your wife (send her to bpdcentral.com to see if she recognizes you in the descriptions).  There is help!!!  And hope!!

Please let me know how you're doing and if this stuff all rang a bell for you --

Grrlfriend

[lwalker]

Thanks for the response.  My moods go up and down in a matter of seconds.  One minute I can feel like the world is about to end and then I'm down for days.....The all of a sudden I can talk to someone about my feelings and it feels like I can make it.  It is a constant rollercoaster ride.  My past history has been of sexual abuse (child), physical abuse and mental abuse...first marriage....  I never really believe anything that is said to me even though I really want to....
lwalker

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

I am sorry you are so overwhelmed but you can start on the right track by following your own insight....covering all the things that are going on in your mind. YOu need to find someone to talk to so you can talk through and end up with a clear,less cluttered and quieter mind.  That takes time and effort, but it is a much more certain path to relief than hoping the next antidepressant will do the trick.