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Early onset bipolar disorder?

s.k
I have done some thinking about my childhood. I am now diagnosed bipolar. I always thought I was a normal kid, with normal fantasies, but now that I am looking at certain ages and wondering how much of those fantasies were games, and how much of them were intentions.

What I will focus on is in and around the age ten eleven and some of twelve (i think) and definitly in the grade third thru fourth.

I have always been unusaly active, but not to the extent that a true ADHD child would exhibit. I was excessivly silly, generally happy but could be set off easily expecially in a family setting sometimes resulting in abusive behavior.

I have always been (until on lithium) very goal directed, when I was younger and if someone stepped in my way I would literally push them aside. Once I remember I was, like many other children around the age of eight, in my "pyro" phase. My mother suspected that I was up to no good and asked to see what was in my hand. I did something to hide the matches but she still would not let me out of the door. I became irate, hit her and pushed her aside and ran out the door. This was not typical for me at all, in general I was not an agressive child, but it was like I HAD to do it, and that it was of uttermost importance. Also it was like something else was driving the rage. Other projects and such had the same kind of feelings I HAD to do them.

Although I was highly distractable, my thoughts tended to obsess on fantastic ideas that would often vear off into other things. The two earliest memories was once in first grade we were playing a game of tag, ordinary tag (I think). However I created an entire kingdom twist and I actually made a crown for who I defined as "the Queen". But not only did I add the kingdom-come twist, I actually felt that girl was, in some form, a queen.

The next thing I remember was in maybe second or third grade. I had planned to build a bridge across a near by drainage stream. Now it isn't that such a bridge was useless, two trails met on either side both had heavy bike travel. However, the bridge I designed would have not at all been in my realistic view. Unlike what i am going to go into next, I do not remember weather I had strong desires to actually build the bridge or not.

However, as I got older a friend of mine and me who also was later diagnosed Bipolar II would create plans to build massive buidings, one of which was a sky scraper and an underground mall or various businesses that we would make millions. But unlike other children who might be playing we actually beleived that these things were pheasable. Infact, Susan and I agreed that "the Underground Palace" could be built by the next year.

When planning the underground mall, we convinced a friend to join in. Although unsure as to what he thought we were up to his idea of what the "Underground Palace" was going to be like was far less of a task. I am pretty certain Jeff had the idea that we were going to dig a hole in the hillside. Perhaps a big hole. But when Jeff's parents talked him out of it, he suggested to us that we build it in his back yard. Jeff had no idea the of scope or how serious Susan and I were, this suggests that even though Jeff played along with the grandios concept, it was always just that, play. Keep in mind, the only unusual or impractical thing that i can remember about jeff is that he beleived in Santa Claus at a very old age. Jeff was, as far as I remember or could tell, was about as normal as it got.

Although this level of imagination may be expected at earlier ages, we were atleast ten years old. I think any ten year old would know these things are imposible, even though he/she might enjoy playing and fantasising about it. We were absolutely certain that these things were doable.

These ideas and fantasies would be an obsession for the entire durration of the fantasy before my mind would drif off into something else. It was all i could think about, I remember sitting in bed endlessly thinking about schematics and renderings, in a rapid ans streaming thought pattern, of how these magnificent structures would be. When i woke up the next morning the thoughts would immediatly continue. Every last detail would be concitered, no wonder I thought it was feasable.

Although the question of money would come up, it was quickly brushed aside. Not because we didn't want to think about it, well maybe, but more because we knew in our hearts that everything would work out. For instance, we were so certain that the owners of the lot would be so impressed at what we did, they would just give us the land.

These thoughts and ideas continued all the way up, minus depressive episodes, until I was medicated last year. Although they were often times less grand than those earlier but still far out of any realistic reach. Such as very complex speaker systems, trams, forts, huge tree houses, underground bunkers with finished walls or brick and complex tunnel systems, a blimp (which I had very strong beleifs i could build despite an uncle in the construction industry saying it would cost over $10,000), a small river boat and an airplane/helicopter robot thing. And later more obscure beleifs, but at that point was the start of my more classical bipolar II symptoms.

I guess my questions are:
At what age are the above fantasies no longer normal? When can children tell betwene fantastic games and reality?

Is it normal for a child to obsess about such things to the point nothing else can get done, including sleep, school work or normal socializing?

Is it normal for a child to be very goal directed, to the point of mild violence. Or be extremely damanding?

Do all early onset cases exhibit constant or extreme irritation and rage? Can children eshibit more normal manic-depressive symptoms like [possible] slight euphoria, racing thoughts, obsessive thoughts or grandiosity?

Is it normal for kids with ADHD to complain about racing or obsessive thoughts which are so strong get in the way of normal activity?

Is it normal for depressive (or ADHD) children to switch from "normal" to moderatly depressed almost instantly? Or is it a smoother transition than that of a bipolar?

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Know that i am not looking for a diagnosis (I already have one), just an opinion about my past.
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242532 tn?1269550379
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
I can't answer each of your questions but basically you have described one of the many history types of people who end up with a bipolar diagnosis.  Your strong tendencies to believe in and act on and be single minded about a grand success in childhood is definitely a precursor.  It may be most chemical or genetic, but it is also psychological. I encourage you to learn more about your current thinking patterns, and learn techniques that will help you keep a perspective.
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Avatar universal
s.k
Also- although some kids might occasionaly get wrapped up in a fantasy, it seamed as though Susan and I were constantly wrapped up in our big plans. All of these I would obsess about endlessly. I do not remember a time prior to my first depressive episode where my mind was empty. It was always rushing around about various dreams or ideas, so it did not start or end with Susan, nor did our ideas always run paralelle. It was like all that was "pretend" to me was "real" even at ages where you might not expect that. (after age 10)
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