Paxiled gave you the same kind of advice I would give you so don't hesitate to ask to taper off, and maybe taper off altogether..you may not need the medication anymore, but you may have to deal with your memories...
One has to grieve or it stays with you. The medication just covered up the symptoms unless you entered therapy or time did its work. If your issues are unresolved, then when you come off Effexor you may very well still need to grieve. You really didn't need medication, in my opinion, you needed therapy so you could work your feelings of grief out. Medication doesn't do that, and often makes us feel we don't still need to do that. On the other hand, taper off slowly -- Effexor can have a withdrawal, so go as slowly as you feel you need to. Good luck.