My husband has snapped. He used to be a wonderful person but for the last year has become out of control. I know he needs help but he refuses to get it. Here is his story... after 18 years in a high stress job the company changed hands and they started treating him badly, when he started drinking too heavily and becoming mentally abusive to me, I talked him into resigning and getting something better for him thinking this would help, but it totally backfired. He couldn't let go. He felt even worse. Now he feels like a failure because things aren't working out very well. He went into a cycle of sleeping most of the day, drinking most of the night, avoiding financial responsabilities, blaming everyone for ruining his life, loss of memory, obsessive with the tv and "getting some rest", uncontrolled bursts of anger, disreguard for health and safty, self-centered to an incredible degree, panic attacks over small things while brushing off big things, incessive lying, tries to control everything without paying attention to what should be done, refuses to take resposibility for himself, calls his mother constantly to make decisions for us and bail him out, gets angry/jealous about anyone else's happiness, if it is ours he immediatly sets out to destroy it. He has become cruel and cold-hearted, nothing I say or do stops him, it only makes him angrier. There is a lot more and it goes on and on every day. Sometimes he apologizes and says he knows he needs to change but then goes right back to it. But when he walks out the door, he presents this intelligent, happy, fun-loving, responsible front and no one believes there could be anything wrong. He tells all that I am the problem and need anti-depressives or something. When I walk out, he freaks and does just about anything to get me back.
He fits the models of 'general anxiety disorder', 'cronic abuser', 'post traumatic stress disorder', and a few others. None of this was there until now. He will lose his career if labeled anything, he can have no confidentiality in his field, and so he won't seek the help he needs. I am trying not to just give up on him, but I refuse to be his victim. Please tell me there is a way to stop all this while there are still pieces left to put back together.