just think of this if giving up was easy why is it so hard.
I agree with Dr. Gould - I used to feel like you do - ALOT and for years! There is help for you in seeing a psychiatrist. If, for some reason, that option isn't immediately available then call a suicide hotline as often (and as many as you need to) to get the help you deserve!
You need to see a psychiatrist immediately. There is help for you. If you are feeling suicidal, you should call the suicide hot line for immediate help and a referral. If you feel better by the time you read this, then still make an appointment to sort this out, and start fixing the life you hate.