You need to see a psychiatrist immediately. There is help for you. If you are feeling suicidal, you should call the suicide hot line for immediate help and a referral. If you feel better by the time you read this, then still make an appointment to sort this out, and start fixing the life you hate.
I agree with Dr. Gould - I used to feel like you do - ALOT and for years! There is help for you in seeing a psychiatrist. If, for some reason, that option isn't immediately available then call a suicide hotline as often (and as many as you need to) to get the help you deserve!
just think of this if giving up was easy why is it so hard.