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Avatar universal

I think I have social anxiety.

Hello, I'll try to make this as short as I can. Im 24. Ive never had a girl friend, ive tried to goto college about 4 times but drop out after a month, Ive only had one part time job in my life. I like being around my friends and family but theres just something else there. Whenever im out I feel like everyone is looking at me, thinking or saying things to eachother about me. Whenever I go shopping when I leave the store I feel as if security is going to come and stop me thinking I stole something.
   As for relationships that seems like something I could never do. Going up to a girl like that and talking to her is so difficult. When im talking to a girl my age I have no idea what im saying. I find myself having no say about anything in the conversation. It's like im trapped in my own little world that I cant get out.
   I live at home still. My parents think im a lazy person with no goals but thats not it. I've known for a while now that theres something wrong with me but I dont know what it was untill I heard about social anxiety.
  I feel like everyone is better at anything else than me. Like most of the time I can never do anything or say anything right. I feel like im a doormat. To affraid to do or say most things. Im not close with my family and I hate it, but just going up to lets say my sister and telling her how much i like her is the hardest thing in the world to do. I cant do it.
    I've basicaly lost an online friendship with a girl because she says basicaly I dont talk to her. All I ever do is "surface" talk with her. Last night she came out and said why do we bother we never talk? I like her so much and I know I cant talk to her sometimes. We use to be so close, almost a best friend but i dont know what happened. I feel like she dosent like me when I know she does so i'll avoid her alot. She said "your a ghost to me".
  All I can say is I know theres something wrong with me. I feel if I dont get help all I see is a lonely empty future for me. At the sametime I can walk up to a stranger and have a somewhat normal conversation most of the time, it dosent make any sence.
  Sometime tonight im going to tell my mother all this. I feel it will be a step in the right direction. If i dont do anything i'll just loose more friends, be job less, wont goto college and never have a relationship. I feel as if everone must think im the most quiet, unfriendly, shy, guy who dosent care about much but in reality its the total opposite!!! Theres a shell around ME and I cant break out of it.
14 Responses
242532 tn?1269553979
It sounds very much like social anxiety, and there is a great deal of help available to you. This is very treatable, and the treatment is very successful.

You should see a psychiatrist who can prescribe medications that will greatly diminish your anxiety and make everything else easier.  You should also be in treatment, psychotherapy, with that psychiatrist or another therapist.  In addition, there are programs specifically for social anxiety that your therapist can refer you too which are both behavioral and group.

Talking to your parents and getting there help, support and understanding is an important first step, then follow through with these recommendations.
Avatar universal
Thank you for taking the time to respond.
Avatar universal
hi im 29 year old. ive been diagnosed with cyclothymia for 8 yrs and social phobia. I take paxil for the depression and the social phobia and it has really helped me come out of my shell.

I was very glad to see that you realized you needed help and i hope that everything goes well with you. I believe it takes a very strong person to speak up and say hey i need some help. Good for you!!!

Take care and I hope that everything goes your way.
Avatar universal
hi.  i have the exact same problem.  30, and tried 3 colleges.  socializing is impossible, and finding jobs and being relaxed is very difficult.  i am seeking help from a psychotherapist currently to fight my problems.  i just found out i have sever panic disorder which is causing me other health problems.  

getting help is the first step, and although it might take a while, it is the best thing i have done.  good luck!
Avatar universal
Humm... sounds familiar to me..write me to zachary_attacks***@**** and we'll talk about it :O)

And don't worry, everything has a solution, even social anxiety...
Avatar universal
This condition is VERY similar to the symptoms my 21-yr old daughter has experienced most of her life.  She is living on her own, with our help, but has been unable to get a job because of her anxiety.  She has tried lots and lots of counseling but she never felt like it was helping.  She is currently on Effexor, Adavan, and weaning off of Risperdahl and is doing better.  She states her anxiety has lessened but meanwhile she has no social skills having been so inhibited throughout her school years.  We were always told when she was younger when we would question the severity of her "quietness" that she was just shy and would grow out of it.  If I could go back and talk to those same people now I would have a thing or two to say to them!!!  I have a question regarding treatment but I will follow rules and post it in a separate post.
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