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Living with depression, anxiety, social nervousness and peronality disorder

Dear everybody,

I had a very unhappy childhood. My father tried to be domineering. Everybody in the family has to listen to him. As a result there were frequent arguments between my parents, which led to irritability in my mother. The whole atmosphere of the family was therefore poor. Father was the king, Mother was the bad-temper queen, my elder brother is the prince and I was lowest in the hierarchy and subject to bully. How can I face people with such upbringing? I have runny nose practically all the time and my handkerchief was always wet and dirty. My severe perennial allergic rhinitis that could not be helped by Ear-nose-throat specialists added to my low self-image. I used to suffer from asthma as well. Both the rhinitis and the asthma were worst in the winter but Father was a miser who would not spend money to warm up the house in the winter. Winter was therefore my nightmare. I was so low that I literally could not look up to see people. I always avoided eye contact with others especially persons of some authority, beauty or virtue. I was extremely uneasy in social situations. I thought others were looking down on me; no body would like and love me. I am still single. I have very few friends. Most of my acquaintances look down upon and do not contact me.

To try to overcome social anxiety, I tried a couple of sections of psychoanalysis section with a
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Avatar universal
Thank you so much for your comments. They have been a great help to me. I have not spoken to any family or friends about it all and it is great to be able to get some insight. At least when I do talk to them I will be ready. I will take your advice. Back to me...

Thanks Again. Take Care.
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Avatar universal
Dear Lauren,

I am sorry that you feel low, tired, lack of pleasure, very conscious of yourself and cry, with negative and violent thoughts.
Your condition affects your job, housework, relationships with your friends, family and doctor, and hobbies.  
I really think you should tell your doctor about all your feelings. Your doctor is in the best position to give you the professional view and tests and refer you to the appropriate specialists. I could try your best to describe your feelings to your family and friends. They may give you the best support and constructive decisions, and accompany you to see your doctor. Psychiatrist and psychologist are the ones who can deal with your feelings and sexual abuse of 8 years. Psychiatrist may or may not give you medications. Try to get all possible help from your doctors, family, friends, and medications even though your may not feel like to. The reason is that they are your best solution to your problem. Give up her helplessness and face your problems with enthusiasm and get up and go to all possible sources of help. Be strong and face it and beat it.

Kindest regards from Try_to_be_social
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Avatar universal
and i also say to take b complex and your daily vitamins because thats what the hormones need to stay balanced. b is essential to the overall well being like being alert. thinking better, not getting depressed. sleeping better. more energy. and you have to exersise whether you like it or not. and see a psychiatrist for meds because that is there specialty.
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Avatar universal
those feelings are so fimiliar. when i was working in my early 20's i went to work and when i got there i just wanted to cry my face off. i didnt know what was wrong with me. i thought i was just spoiled and didnt want to work. when i had a day off it was more of a relief. but yet i couldnt not work. i needed money. well to make a long story short,later in life i realized i developed a fear of people. social anxiety disorder. i had a good job once doing nails in a salon and i quit because i was afraid of people yelling at me if a nail broke,and if i got yelled at or imbarraced i couldnt think strait and i would start shaking. i didnt know what was happening to me. i thought  that was just my personality and i had to find a job tucked away somewhere. i just pinned myself as a sensitive artist. then it got worse, i went to doctors and they said to see a spychiatrist because i was having physical pain and problems that they couldnt find what was wrong with me but i didnt believe them. and as far as a spychiatrist goes, that would mean im crazy. they didnt exactley expain to me (for years they have been telling me to see one) that it was depression and anxiety and that it was a chemical imbalance and it can be treated. I YIYE YIYE. i could have felt better years ago. so when you have depression and anxiety, things seem wierd. not everyone gets the sme exact symptoms but mostly. i hid most of the time i never wanted to see anybody. i cut my family off and i was close to ten sisters and brothers. i felt like i was going nuts. suasidal thoughts u name it. well, it got so bad that i became severly depressed and thats when you feel like your trippin on any wierd drug but without the good feeling. your afraid to talk to people because your cant concentrate on what there saying and it feels like they can read your thoughts and think your stupid. all i did was cry because i was tired of thinking i had to be strong. so i was put on wellbutrin because nothing else seemed to help and in 6 weeks i felt much better. my sister helped me because she went through the same thing. only i still have anxiety but not the worst of it. i think i damaged something for waiting so long to get help. i ended up with a touch of spasmotic torticollis. (involentary head movements and a pulling of the head to the rightwhen im under stress or someone is paying to much attention to me. but i take the generic for klonopin and the only anxiety med i can take is effexor. i can drive comfortably now and do shopping and i see a lot of my family .i was so totaly trapped in my house and was so uncomfortable and even worse i had to try and act normal because i had to much pride and my boyfriend didnt believe me untill just up untill 2 months ago a guy friend of ours took a shot for his hepititis and became severley depressed and i had to talk to him to asure that he was going to be allright. well my boyfriend seen a guy have similiar actions that i had and now he treats me with a bit more respect.  im hanging in there and you do the same your answers will come and youll get better.
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Avatar universal


Hi,  I will try to be brief but I doubt that will happen. Ha ha. I was wondering what the problem may be with me. I think that I am depressed. I am not sure to what point you would call it depression but I have been unable to keep a job and I  avoid going outside anymore. I am incredibly tired and I cry alot.  I am constantly talking to myself and negative. I pace around the house and I keep the doors locked all the time. I am constantly peeking out the windows. I no longer find pleasure in doing anything. I dont cook. It takes all I've got to keep the house clean and make dinner.When I do go out I swear that people are talking about me and I always have this person although no face..Watching me whereever I go. I thought that mabey this person is me though. I dont want any company and over time I have lost all the friends I had. I used to have many.

Sometimes, I get angry in my thoughts and think of violent things. I do not drink or smoke or take any medication.
I am VERY self-concious and I have low self esteem. I dont hate myself, I love my family but they are all away. At this point I have not even been able to keep Doctors appointments. I used to love to go for a hike and go fishing but I am trapped here for some reason. When I was working, I would get ready and get dressed and think..Ok..Your fine. Now Go.. and by the time I would get there I would shrink. I would find myself in the bathroom for 5-10 minutes and I would give my mind some rest from self-Conciousness. This is making my life miserable. I dont want to take medication. Seems like the whole planet is on Paxil or something. I would like to solve the problem by finding the reason I have it. I would also like to know what it is.

P.S. I was Sexually abused for 8 years when I was young. I guess that might be giving me a bit of trouble.

Please help me out if you have some time. Much appreciated.
Thank you for your site and time.

Lauren Deichmann
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Avatar universal
hi everyone, why are you depressed, have anxiety?

  www.adderall-free-kids.com
  
  scroll down a little and click on scientifically in blue.
  
  im not to sure about what they want you to take because its all vitamins. you can get that at your local store. from stress you lack. buy some vitamins like mostly b-complex and a good source of a one a day to put all you lose back into your body and balance back those hormones.
Helpful - 0

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