I'm a 32 year old mother of 2 young boys. My problems with mental illness as well as abuse go back as far as I can remember.
I have been in and out of therapy since I was 17. I have seen a number of psychatrists as well as medical physicans. I have taken Zoloft, Wellbutrin, Effexor and Prozac for depression changing from one to another as one worked and then seemed to lessen in its effectiveness.
In addition I have taken Ritalin before becoming pregnant and after the birth of my 2 children have been taking Concerta for AD/HD.
Currently I am taking Effexor, Concerta and Respidal. The Respidal was prescribed about 2 months ago to help with my thought imbalances - mostly hopelessness and sucidical thoughts (but no attempts as I am a Christian and refuse to give my life to the enemy. I know that my faith and my husband and children are the only reasons that I am still alive today.)
In the past 2 months, in addition to my phsychiatrist and phsychotherapist I have seen my general practitioner and a hematologist to help me deal with my most recent problems. Dizziness, headaches, nausea, lightheadedness, vertigo, disorientation. Also, I have been sweating profusely, especially at night. My temperature is not high - no fever - but for some reason I am having night sweats.
I have been for an MRI where they found 3 very small spots but of no concern. My hormones are okay.
I have completely lost any (of what I had) sexual desire in the past 12 months. (My husband and I have had sex 2 times in the past 10 months.) I have gained 20 lbs in that same time.
At times just the simple things like thinking, looking or hearing something hurts my head so badly I feel like pulling my hair out. These things come and go...but I can't complete a thought at times.
My head isn't right, the medication doesn't seem to be working and no one can figure out what is wrong. I am hoping that some of this will ring a chord with SOMEONE. It may all be connected and then again it may not. I don't want to live the rest of my life like this. I pray that someone can, at the very least, stear me in right direction.
Also, like just now, my vision just shifts and then goes back into place all within 1 second. At that time there is a little crackle-like sound in my head or it may be my ears...I can't identify it. I don't know if any of this is a side effect of the medication, a problem we're not thinking, a symptom of these medications. Lately I've been seeing my doctors regularly but no one has come up with something they can identify and then work to correct and I'm getting more and more depressed that I will live the rest of my life like this. PLEASE HELP!
I don't want to have my children grow up with a mental mother. I love my family and want to be strong for them but I have lost my patience with whatever is plaguing my body and I need some help.
Also, I'm asking for prayers.
Thank you.