I need to get out but how?

[out458]

I want a way out im 25 I live with my parents my sisters and brother My mother had always been verbally abusive to me I have a BA and on way to MA just 6 months I also have a great job My mum has asked all my family to stop talking to me since I was 14 cause I disagreed with her extremist opinions and the obsessive control on y life.She enjoys seeing my young sisters and brother abuse me both verbally and physically. I'm a 25 woman being hit by her 15 brother.Since 14 I didn't eat a meal with them or watched tv or talked to them the problem is that I cant go no where im in country in the middle east where you can never leave your parents house till you get married I cant even go passed 9 out the house I cant travel I cant do nothing but to go to school and work help im going to loose it  where can I go im starting to talk to my furniture,they live together I live in the roof but she doesn’t leave me alone they gather to shout at m door cut my things spit in my food lock the bathroom because she saw a her in the sink she started insulting me in front of family and strangers I can't I'm intelligent open minded person I cant keep the mask I want to get out but I cant by law I cant and the culture doesn’t allow me help me this is not happening 10 years of group abuse Is all I can take my skin is getting tight on me I don’t sleep I cant sleep my heart beats so hard it’s hard to breath I want to get out help me im an intelligent person with a dgree and a respectful job ill have a paper published anytime soon but I cant get out of my room anymore this cant be happening to me I have no where to go what will happen to me for how long will I live in this misery this is not true I didn’t spend  years alone fighting time is slipping my life is slipping from me  help me please  I cant no more i want to live I want help help me please im dyeing I cant be living this way what did I do to deserve this whats left of me? I cant drive I cant study I cant work I cant  live help me  

[Jaquta]

Anything I have to say feels grossly inadequate.

Your family life alone seems far from ideal.

I was wondering if you had set yourself any goals for the up-coming vacation period.  This may help the three months go by much faster.

You're right, you are intelligent.  I wish I had the same inquisitive mind you do.  I also wish I had the wisdom and maturity you have.  Trust that you will find the solution to this mess.

The doctor's right, you are extremely brave.

There is a strong sense of community on this forum, so feel free to write any time.

Please take care.

J

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

I hear very clearly what you need and how you are trapped.  You need help from someone outside of your family, but as you explained that is dangerous for you to try. Is there a way that you can safely confide in your teachers or co workers who share your views about freedom and your right to live  your life according to your own judgement.  Just one trusted friend would be of some help.

A perspective might also help...we in this country would consider you to be heroic and someone to admire for your courage and fortitude.  We would help you directly if we could with women's rights groups or international agencies. Your culture has a strong and different view, and it sounds like your mother is extreme in her opposition to your independence, but perhaps she does not represent the  moderate view in your country so you may have allies in your struggle that you have not thought of who can help you figure this out.  

Your symptoms are signs of depression that is related, it seems, to your gloomy view of the future, but all of this is based on your current view that the battle between you and your mother will always turn out with her as the winner.  That does not have to be true.  There must be a way out and you must continue to carefully find that way with the certainly that eventually you will..

Are there any relatives who can help you? Is it possible to make some kind of peace with your mother that would at least temporarily reduce the tension.

We are all wishing you the best..please stay  in touch through this forum.

[zack32]

You can try keeping a diary that no one else sees. Sometimes getting our feelings out can be a great healing. In a diary you can write what you want and about anything. This can be a great outlet if you are unable to trust anyone else. Reading it to yourself can also help. You ca read about the times that make you happy, sad , angry etc. Try to avoid times that are bad. Sounds like you already try to do so. I am not really sure what caused the difference in your family but maybe you can write about that. Perhaps there is a way to change what is happening. Or a way you and your family can come to some type of compromise. I may have more thoughts on this but I need to leave right now.

[Paxiled]

This is very hard.  This is how most of us got to the US in the first place.  I hope you find the way to overcome.

[out458]

I have it all I have wealth I have a degree I have a job but i leave that all outside my house steps i cant go to the police and tell them my mother and family are abusing me! This is unacceptable in my culture and by law unless Im beaten brutally and even with that they will return you home where girls that did that before me got killed and buried in the desert this is not happening to me im really intelligent and a good person but I cant stand it no more I don’t know what to do? I need someone to tell me how to get  grip on myself I need a doctor to teach me how to cope with it because I feel that im deteriorating day after day im loosing the strength to go to school or work and if I loose my job ill be completely under their mercy I cant walk I stopped washing my face I cant move out of bed and in few weeks I'll stop school and work for 3 months vacation what shall I do how can I stop myself from loosing my mind help me be strong back this is not me I always took it now I cant help me give me a way to be stronger  

[zack32]

I am not to familiar with the laws in your country when it comes to children moving out. It sounds as though you are not able to unless you are married. Is it possible to talk to a school official about your situation? In the U.S.A. we have a Department of Child and Family Services that investigates cases like this and can get the child help. Is there something in your country similar to this? Perhaps you can call for assistance. I hate to see anything bad happen to you so please be careful. Also I am not a Doctor, but I hope something I have said will be helpful. one more thing, seeing that you have access to the internet, is there an official you can contact in this manner?