anxiety, depression...who knows.

[bbs]

So, first off, I should mention that I'm currently living in Japan as an English teacher and have lived here for almost a year now.  I've been very happy (despite the occasional slump er two...which I consider natural).  I've been struggling off and on with what I thought was depression when I was young (early young...like maybe 10 years old), but am starting to feel as if maybe it's more of a paranoia/anxiety disorder.  I've always been a very happy, energetic and outgoing person, but lapse into an occasional and very deeply rooted depression usually due to insecurities of my own.  While I've been going to therapy off and on as a child, and have been reading some spiritual (and very helpful) books about finding happiness, there seems to be certain things that are simply out of my control.  For example, when feeling insecure and surrounded by people (even family and friends)my throat feels as if it's swollen up and I can't form sentances.  I become so aware of every sentance I say that I lose track of what I was saying.  I'm exhausted, irritable and frustrated.  I just want to act my normal self, but can't.  When I'm alone, I can talk myself out of feeling strange, but as soon as others are around I lapse into a world where I feel anxious and set back (as if i'm drowing in my thoughts looking up at people on the surface).  I love being a happy carefree person, but don't understand why I have these re-occuring bouts.  It's a constant up and down and to be honest is just damn exhausting.  As a middle child, I know that it's been tough trying to seek the amount of attention that I need (and was severly paranoid about bad things happening to me), BUT even when I do feel loved and safe (as I know I am with my wonderful family and friends), I can't control these physical things that make me feel welled up.  I begin to feel like I've lost myself for a while and don't know how to come back.  I'm going home for a visit (before coming back for another year) and was wondering if I should see someone about getting some medication for whatever I may have.  The problem is, I won't have insurance and I'm not sure exactly who can perscribe this medication.  I think it would be extrememly difficult to find someone that speaks good enough english here in Japan to help me get the proper medication and dosage.  I can't stand feeling wound up like this when I know I'm happy with my life.  It's also starting affecting me physically (I think) since I haven't gotten my period in 4 months (and nope, have had no sex).  I'm really worried that I won't be able to appreciate my wonderful time back home because I'll be battling what's going on in my head and what's going on physically.  Also, I want to enjoy as much of Japan as I can while I'm here.  Can you help a poor soul out?

[bbs]

hey guys, thanks for the support.  I went and saw a physician yesterday and recieved some cercine.  I'm not exactly sure about the drug however, so if anyone could write and let me know, I'd be very greatful.  The doc couldn't couldn't really describe the drug accurately in english.  I've also started reading some helpful books, so hopefully I'm on the up here.  Thanks again!

[lucas]

here's a great site i found on SAD.
http://www.socialanxietyinstitute.org/socialanxiety.html

[GinaT]

I just posted my experience which sounds somewhat similar to yours. I have started a ten week cassette and workbook combination for managing and removing anxiety, phobias, and panic. It sounds like anxiety attacks to me although I am not a doctor. I have just been experiencing these sames things daily.
"A 10-Week Recovery Program for Overcoming Panic, Anxiety, & Phobias" by Shirley Babior, Carol Goldman. I ordered this off of amazon and I am in my second week and I am beginning to see improvement.

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

There are a number of medications that can help you with this symptom and all of them can be prescribed by your general physician either in Japan or here in the United States.

The medications are all good...including Paxil, Zoloft and Celexa.  Ask your doctor to start you at the lowest dose of whichever one you choose( I would start with Paxil) and keep you on that dose for 3 weeks, and then slightly increase the dose if necessary, but don't go to the highest dose range.

If you want some therapeutic help you can get it from me ONLINE by going to www.masteringstress.com, becoming a member, and requesting a consultation from me. I may be able to give you some useful insights to supplement the medication.