depersonalization disorder? or something physical? what should I do?

[sdsd]

About 2 years ago I was living in my own apt and going to college.  I hadn't been getting much sleep and was pretty stressed out.  I go to my mom's house every weekend and the drive is also stressful since there is always traffic and it's about an hour away.  That night I suddenly got a feeling of unreality and this weird feeling of being alive.  I felt scared and in a panic.  I felt like everything was unreal and I wasn't even really here or didn't know who I was. I felt like I wasn't apart of my body and I would also get dizzy a lot.  I would feel like... "why am I me and not someone else?", as well as other things. I was always tired and felt like I was in a dream or haze and not fully there.  It eventually went away after fighting the thoughts away but it would come back off and on and get worse.  It's stopping me from enjoying life or doing things I used to.  It's hard for me to go into a mall or go out with friends. I notice that sometimes when I am really tired and asleep in the night I will suddenly wake up and feel scared and lost like I don't know whats going on or just that everything is completely unreal. When I was little, I would sometimes get the feeling that I was dreaming but it would go away.  I also had a seizure when I was around 4 from a high
fever.  

I'm concerned that I might have depersonalization disorder or a physical problem with my brain.  I don't have health insurance right now and can't afford a doctor...can you please provide any help or any answers?  I just don't know what to do about it.

Thanks for your help in advance.

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

What you are suffering from is a form of anxiety and you can several different kinds of help with this, including talk therapy and medication for anxiety. If you don't have insurance you might be eligible to get help at a community clinic so try your nearest university hosptial or community mental health center.   You can always ask your family doctor to prescribe some anti-anxiety medications as a short term solution.

[I'm stuffy]

  Hi everyone,  I'm male, now 49, disabled from scoliosis and disc/nerve damage problems.  I only had auras with odd chemical smells for years...then 9/11/01 happened.  I had my first and only seizure a month afterwards. Then it all hit me.  I still had auras (but w/o the smells). The new things were panic attacks, major depression, severe anxiety and stress problems, and most of the other symptoms you had described.  Dilantin (200mg twice a day) has kept most of the auras away... no more seizures either. (I had what they called a " Benign Temporal Spike") I also have sleep apnea that is getting taken care of this week (sinus surgery). Trouble breathing could have added to the cause of the seizure.
   Ativan helps my depression and panic attacks, but only if you take it when you feel this fear coming on.  If you take it regularly, even if you don't need it, it can cause the very problems you're taking it for. (This also goes for most of the other anti-anxiety meds).  I started with 1mg when I needed it, up to 4 a day. Now I take 1/2mg 2-3 times a day  If I stay away from stressful situations, that's enough.  Getting out and doing things helps alot!  My Doctor's orders were to get out and do something!  Now I volunteer a few hours a day, two or three days a week at his office.  I would recommend this to anyone with these problems.  Good luck !!!

[mackenzie m]

Please see my comment to ilovelinda. I suffered these exact attacks you described. It was called, by my endocrinologist "derealization." seems like everything that is happening is on TV. That it really isn't you. In my case, it was simply a hyperactive thyroid.  A simple blood test can rule this out.  There are a million things that can cause this. Simple therapy, research, and in my case meditation, helped immensly.

[anxietyridden]

I understand your problem all to well.

It sounds like you have a severe case of anxiety with panic, possibly. this outer body and "not really here" feelings are very hard to deal with and can stop you from enjoying your life and going places you would normally go.

You need to know that millions of people suffer from this problem. You are not the only one. Many people simply will not come forward with this type of issue. They think they are crazy, but they are not and neither ar you. That feeling is what you have from anxious thoughts, worry and stress. You're pretty much walking around and living your life worried about everything is what it boils down to. Now, you have added this to your pile of worries, but I can tell you, it's nothing to fear.. I bought Lucinda Basset's course, CD's and workbooks and it helped me tremendously. You should look into that right away if you cannot afford numerous Psych. visits and expensive medication.

Go see a local doctor and get checked out, but chances are you are probably just fine. Once you find that out, you are ahead of the game. I became SCARED of doctors early into this mental state, and I still have a problem going to a doctor 15 years later.

You'll find out that there are quite a few good medications that will keep you from feeling like that. Several of them are pretty addictive. Xanax is a great one, but I have become seriously addicted to it. It works unbelivable!! I have been trying to get off it for years. They don't prescribe it near as much as they used to, but they have others that work just as good.

Bottom line is, if you can handle this own your own without meds, you are better off. Some cannot deal without meds (including me, I was taking Xanax too long before understanding my condition and became addicted), but many can overcome anxiety, panic and fear on their own.

Take a vacation and enjoy what you like to do. Reading a book helps. anxiety, panic and social phobia's are sometimes mind over matter, but a chemical imbalance can be tough to overcome.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Good Luck.