what is his problem?

[marylou]

I was sexually abused by my step-father throughout my entire childhood.  I recently told my mother about what happened, and she is in the process of divorcing my step-father.  I know that my memories and accusations are correct, but he SWEARS that he never did ANYTHING to me.  He has even written me a letter telling me how he would NEVER hurt me.  He and his family think that I am crazy and have some kind of mental problem. I know that he is a very manipulative person and can convince others of just about anything.  He has two siblings who act the same way.  What I don't understand is how he does not remember his actions.  How can he do this?  I know it seems like he might just be convincing me of his innocence, but I can tell that he truly does not think he has done anything to hurt me.  What allows him to rationalize his actions so much that he can completely wipe out any memories of his horrible actions?

[navybrat]

Sorry, my e-mail is ***@****

[navybrat]

I'm sure he doesn't think he's done anything wrong. I think people like that always manage to convince themselves that they "loved" the person they abused or that the person "wanted" it. It's a completly twisted way of thinking. I know of this great site, it completely saved me. If you want the address you can e-mail me and I'll send it to you.

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

It is hard to speculate about the mind of your step-father, but as long as you are certain and clear, you should not back down from your position no matter what he says.

He may want to forget what happened, but he can't really do that. He can only try to convince others of his innocence in order to relieve his own guilt.

Denial is a very powerful process in situations like this.