The dark...

[alana18]

Hi, I'm Alana and I never told this to anyone so I really don't know what people would say about it, the fact is: When I was 14(I'm now 18) my grandma died and in the same day at night I started to be afraid of dark, because when I'm in the dark thoughts of that terrible day starts and that's what I can't control, I thought that this feeling would go away but it didn't. What should I do?

[Briain]

Nothing to be ashamed of . When i believed in god and prayed i was terrified of the dark. I didnt realise why i had almost immediatly stopped being scared but a few weeks later i realised -weird!. I cant think of any connection that would of caused it. Our minds are very powerful and mysterious.

[therese83]

You need to talk it through, do you have a memory of your grandma.  Maybe make a little place, with a photo of her.  Where you can remember her in a happy way.

Accept your fear is there for the time being, but if you can find someone to talk to - this can help a lot.

[Jaquta]

Hi
I can relate.  
Last year I had four family members die all within the space of four weeks.
While I didn't fear the dark per se I did become extremely anxious and fearful about dying during the night.
I think we associate a lot with darkness (negativity, the fear of the unknown, etc).  Evenings are often times we use to reflect back over our days.  Unfortunately, many of us use this time to ruminate on negative aspects of our days and lives.

I was in therapy earlier this year and my T spoke of there being death drives as well as life drives.  We didn't discuss this a lot, but for some reason it helped.
Perhaps it was comforting to know that we have choices.  We don't have a lot of control over how we die or when we die but we do have control over how we choose to live our lives.

I think it is also very important that you grieve for your grandmother and get closure on that.  I had unresolved grief issues concerning my grandfather and they were extremely debilitating.  I have closure now and it feels good.

Definitely discuss your thoughts and feelings with those close to you.  Often talking helps them too!!

You deserve to be able to remember your grandmother in a positive light and without all the fear.

J

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

alana...you will have to face up to and understand better your fears of death, and the sadness about losing your grandmother...you can do that with good open talk with those you love and trust...this should not be a secret, and nothing to be ashamed of...