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Depression/Mental Health Forum
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Avatar universal

What is Wrong With ME? Noone can figure it out, not even me!!!

I am a 36 yr old stay at home mom of two.  My 4 yr old son causes me much stress and has recently been diagnosed with possible Bipolar disorder.  He is currently on a blood pressure lowering medication which I've noticed has calmed him down just a bit.  I have been in and out of therapy for years and my last psychiatrist prescribed Adderall for me because I have absolutely NO energy and I drink about 10 cups of coffee a day just to keep me going.  I also take Citalopram for major depression.  I have always been very tired all of the time, I sleep when I'm depressed or to just escape from the world.  I have no life, but my kids, whom I adore, they just drain me of everything.  MY husband is no help because he gets upset when he comes home at night and I'm on the couch, listless and in no mood for sex whatsoever.  I do have some periods where I am very interested, but it only lasts for a few days maybe every 6 mos??  I also have periods of great rage and I feel like as soon as I can't take anymore, I just explode.  Sometimes it doesn't take much at all, it's just my mood.  Every day is a battle just getting through.  Life shouldn't be this way.  I always wish that I had more energy so I could do more and get my kids involved in more, but I'm just so tired a worn-out.  I've tried taking vitamins and now I'm taking protein because my hair is falling out in clumps (for two years now).  I'm wondering if I'm Bipolar and the meds that I'm on are just making me worse!  Every day it's the same.......I get very agitated, then I try to calm myself down and think of something fun to do with the kids, which is usually ruined by my son's total craziness and moods, then I'm just aggrivated and totally exhausted by 3pm and my husband comes home pissed that the house is a mess, blah, blah blah.  I don't even listen to my husband anymore because it's just more stress and I don't have any answers for him, or any energy to give him.  That's basically my life in a nutshell.  No social life at all, no happinesss.  All I do is obsess about helping my son, and take care of my joy of a two year old daughter.  Meanwhile I'm physically always in pain; numbness in my fingers and toes, neck pain, headaches, and stressed out about these gray hairs and the fact that my hair is falling out!  Dermatologist saw nothing. I'm now on Rogaine and Biotin supplmnts.  I also take inhaled steriods for asthma, singulair, nasal spray, clonipin, requip for restless leg syndrome. My mind doesn't stop at night even though I'm physically SPENT.  I feel heavy tighness in the chest usually in the afternoons (Asthma and Heart doctors say everything is normal  I'm now trying to diagnose myself.  I've been researching Lupus and BiPolar disorder because I have a lot of the characteristics of both.  Please help!!  Should I stop Adderall or Citalopram or both?  Should I consider Lithium?  Don't know where to turn.  Have to wait til end of mo. to see psychiatrist, by then I'll be all out of meds.  Nice!
14 Responses
242532 tn?1269553979
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
I can't suggest any change in your medications, there are too many things going on for that, but I can suggest that you ask your psychiatrist for more than medications, that is, some counseling to help you put your life back together in a better way than you describe.  Medications can't do that, and you probably can't on your own.  If your psychiatrist does not do talk therapy, then ask him to refer you to a social worker or psycholgoist for this kind of therapy.
Avatar universal
Northeastgal -- bless your heart...just reading your post made my head spin!  *hugs*  I'd like to ask some questions if I may.  First, since you've seen therapists over the years, what first got you into counseling?  How long did you attend continuous (emphasis on continuous) weekly counseling sessions and what was the diagnosis?  If it's depression, to what are they attributing the depression?  Do you have any history of sexual, physical or emotional abuse?  If so, have you worked with a therapist who specializes in dealing with PTSD?  Second, have you ever had your thyroid tested?  Many of the symptoms you describe are very common for hypothyroid disease.  If you have had thyroid tests, what tests were done?  Were your TSH, FREE T3 and FREE T4 levels tested?  If you were only tested for your TSH levels, that is not enough, but what was your TSH level? Have you ever been prescribed any thyroid medication and has your doctor checked you for a possible goiter?  Have you had your adrenal levels checked?  If you haven't had your thyroid checked, please do so!

Third, my heart goes out to you with raising a bi-polar child...particularly one who is so young.  Additionally, it sounds as though your husband is very insensitive to the stress you're under, and not having his loving support causes significant stress all by itself.  Please know that you do not have to feel this way.  It sounds like you're such a loving caregiver to the needs of your son and husband that you have little time or energy left over to spend on your own mental/ physical/emotional health.  Having suffered from many of the symptoms as you described, I will say I only found healing when I finally took charge and made myself the priority while I got the help I needed.  At the time, my family thought I was being "selfish" by making myself the center of attention.  However, after my life began to be transformed for the better, they were able to admit the "inconveniences" they suffered were well worth it.  I've since taken the trials and tribulations I've suffered and turned them into something good by returning to school for my Counseling degree.  Please don't despair, gal....there is hope and healing out there for you too.  Please keep us posted on how you're doing....we care!

Intrigue
Avatar universal
I have had my thyroid checked numerous times and I even checked off the additional thyroid test and everything came back normal.  I first went to counseling because I was choosing abusive relationships that I felt "trapped" in, and it helped me to realize that it wasn't me.  I'm a middle child, who's young mother isn't too supportive; if anything, she's jealous of me because I've never had a weight problem.  Hence, my life revolves and is centered around my children, I'm just trying to get through it all, wondering why I'm not as happy as I should be, not having to work, (yeah, right), etc.  Thanks for your support and caring,  I appreciate it!  I have read about Adrenal dysfunction but the high doses of vitamins & dhea haven't been helping at all.
Avatar universal
Ya know I actually think the DR is right. You really need someone to talk to other than the grumpy husband and your lovely children. I know that feeling of "Why am I not happy"... I should be happy, I have everything I really want. It seems we take for granted our health and when thats not good nothing else is either. If you dont feel well then You just are not happy. Try to focus on you more and getting better. If your DR doesnt provide talk therapy then get a new DR. MY Mom died because they kept giving her more and more pills but no real help. Reach out before its too late and get the help you need sweetie. If not for you the for your kids! They deserve a happy and healthy Mommy.
Take care sweetie!!!
Avatar universal
I really hope that you read my reply, I know you posted a while ago, but as I have said in a few other posts- I am going to tell you. I only got half way through your post and then I read the Dr.'s reply and I have one major solution to your problems if you will take it seriously and try it... it sounds so simple- too simple to work/ but trust me. Try it and give it 4 weeks and your life will change.
  Unless you have a serious medical problem, I do not encourage medication. Try to eliminate any over the counter and prescribed medication. Start using WHOLE VITAMINS instead. (you will be amazed at what things like coral calcium and echinasia can do!) Sorry if I am misspelling, I am in a hurry.
*I encourage you to purchase a book called What They Do Not Want You To Know, or Natural Cures written by Kevin Trudeau. It has a natural cure for almost every disease.*
It is not very expensive and you can purchase it online, at book stores or at Whole Foods. Just read it for ideas and suggestions at least and I promise just changing a few things in your diet alone will make a dramatic change.
Please let me know if you are interested in learning more.
Avatar universal

You may want to find out more about CFIDS. Here is a link to a questionnaire to fill out and possibly discuss with your physician, as well as another link listing most of the symptoms of CFIDS:

http://www.cfids.org/about-cfids/do-i-have-cfids.asp

http://www.meactionuk.org.uk/Dr_David_Bells_Symptom_List.htm

Unfortunately, this disease is very real. Your physician will want to rule out many other autoimmune or other problems before diagnosing you.

Good Luck !



Avatar universal
I feel for your predicament, having had a mother diagnosed with schizophrenia and myself suffering from depression for many years.  I can tell you most M.D.'s are sadly looking in the wrong place.  Have you considering a biological dentist ? You'd be started by how many dieseases, even psychological, start with a toxicity of one form or another.(www.mercurypoisoned.com).   Depression is such a multi-faceted phenomena while allopathic medicine seems to be obsessesed with solely looking at brain chemicals and the pharmaceutical 'cures'.  Don't let me convince you to stop medication entirely as you will have too harsh a withdrawal effect.  Consider the site www.healthrecovery.com with natural, and less harmful, alternatives to prescription medication.
Yoga is a wonderful way to experience inner tranquility as well www.yogafordepression.com

Healthy Regards,

Jay Polatnick, B.S. Nutition
Sterling, VA
Avatar universal
I'm sorry I'm butting in on this thread...but I'm in desperate need of advise and this forum seems to address some similar issues.  My fiancee is currently prescribed Lexapro and Adderall, she started both about 6 months ago...it is clear to both her and I that the Adderall makes her a very unpleasant person and is really not what she needs...she knows and I know that she was much better off before it...she was a healthy, beautiful 135lbs when she started...and now...she's 100lbs soaking wet...she is extremely malnourished...her sex drive is very deminished...and when there is a sex life...it's very very frustrating for her because her entire body will violently cramp up just as she is about to have an orgasm...she gets head aches all the time...and in the past two weeks...there has been 4 days that she didn't sleep a wink...not consecutive days...but she'll be up 24 hrs...go to bed the next night...and then up for 24 again...she gets very loopy so to speak...blurred vision...rapid heart rate...basically all the warning signs of overdose on a nightly basis...and every harmful side affect that adderall has to offer.  She is aware of all this...but is very addicted to them...to the point to where she takes well over the recommended dosage per day...so much so that she is going to run out of a 3 month RX a month early...she is using this unfortunate run out to try and kick it...and I so want to help her in any way possible...because I think she will be thinking the entire month that all she has to do is get through one month and she can get more...I want to help her through this...but every site I've researched only talks about the side affects, and the addictive nature, and all the pros and cons...I can't find anything helpful for somebody who needs advice on dealing with the withdrawls and what can be done to cope and how long the withdrawls will last on average...what to expect...I need advise on how to help her through this very very difficult time that will be coming up in about a week or so.
169037 tn?1212561247
I AM EXPERIENCED THROUGH CLINICAL,MEDICAL, AND PERSONAL EXPERIENCE WITH THIS TYPE OF SITUATION.1ST. ADDERALL IS DEXTROMETHAPHETAMINE AND IS USED ONLY FOR ADD,ADHD, AND NARCOLEPSY. IT IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR CAFFEINE NOR IS ITS INTENDED THERAPUETIC TARGET AIMED AT DEPRESSION!!!IT SOUNDS LIKE ABILIFY WOULD POSSIBLY WORK FOR YOU.LITHIUM IS A GOOD STABILIZER AND I PERSONALLY DON'T LIKE IT BUT DEPAKOTE IS GOOD AS WELL.SYMPTOMATICALLY IT'S NO WHERE NEAR LUPUS BUT MORE ALONG THE LINES OF BIPOLAR/DEPRESSIVE EPISODIC EMPHASIS.
AS FAR AS THE OTHER PERSON IN THIS FORUM WHO'S GIRLFRIEND IS TAKING ADDERALL OVER AND ABOVE TE DOSE IF SHE IS TRULY ADHD THEY WILL SLOW HER DOWN,POSSIBLY CAUSE PSYCHOSIS,ETC. ALSO HOW DOES SHE OBTAIN A 3 MONTH SUPPLY OF ADDERALL-ITS AGAINST THE LAW!!YOU MUST GET A NEW RX EVERY MONTH FROM MD AND IF MD GIVES HER THREE SEPERATE SCRIPTS THE PHARMACIST WILL NOT ALLOW HER TO FILL MORE THAN POSSIBLY 5-8 DAYS MAX. EARLY!!SHE MUST NOT BE ADHD/ADD!!A DETOX IS NOT AVAILABLE FOR SPPED HOWEVER CHRONIC FATIGUE,SWEATS,CONFUSION,PSYCHOSIS,INSOMNIA,ETC WILL HAPPEN IF SHE IS NOT TITRATED DOWN SLOWLY OFF THESE ADDERALL.YOU DETOX SPEED W/ SPEED BASICALLY-OR COLD TURKEY W/THE RAMIFICATIONS AT HAND.IF ADHD TRY ADDERALL XR OR STRATERRA..LESS ABUSE POTENTIAL W/XR...BEST OF LUCK, AND MAKE SURE THE PSYCH DOC KNOWS ABOUT HER ABUSE.YOU MAY HAVE TO WRITE HIM/HER BECAUSE OF HIPPA THEY CAN'T DISCUSS HER W/YOU BUT IT NEVER SAYS YOU CAN'T CONTACT THEM!!!
Avatar universal
Well...she got a 3 month RX from her psyc doctor...I saw the RX...she went to some RX fill website that her doctor told her to go to...but she had to do it within 7 days or something like that...anyway...it was delivered to our door step...so if it is indeed illegal...I find it hard to believe it would be so simple and easy.  And if that was the case...she would be able to get more...she's not stopping at her own free will...she's being forced to stop because she can't get another RX until the 3 month one expires.  She recognizes the issues and addiction and is using this as an opportunity to get off...but honestly...I don't think she would if she wasn't being forced to.  She was diagnosed with ADHD and Depression so she was RX'd Adderall and Lexapro...but after the first run of RX's the doctor switched her to Adderall XR...which is when she was given the 3 month RX and is still taking Lexapro...of course she ran out of the Adderall RX two days ago and is having a really hard time with the withdrawls and I don't know what to do for her...if there is anything I can do.  She went to a different doctor last week...before she ran out...and she was then diagnosed as Bi-Polar and the doctor wants to put her on a different med...and I'm getting sick of the RX's because they completely change her demeanor...and when we first started dating...she wasn't on ANYTHING...and was happy...we were happy...but she has convinced herself that she's screwed up in the head...and I personally think she doesn't need anything...she keeps saying she wants to get back to the way we were...to which I say..."Well what were you taking then?" that of course is a rhetorical question because she wasn't taking anything then.  I just would like to be better educated on the subject...as far as what to expect in the withdrawl period and typically how long it will last...a few days...a week...a month?
169037 tn?1212561247
THE WITHDRAWL SYMPTOMS ARE MOSTLY PSYCHOLOGICAL AFTER A WEEK OR SO.SHE WILL PROBABLY HAVE CHRONIC FATIGUE,POSSIBLE INSOMNIA,WEIGHT GAIN, INCRASED SEXUAL LIBIDO,IRRITABILITY,DEPRESSION,AND ALSO SYMPTOMS OF BI-POLAR!!!WAS SHE OFF OF HER ADDERALL WHEN THE DOC DIAGNOSED HER SYMPTOMATICALLY?IF SO THAT IS WHY SHE IS HAVING BI-POLAR BEHAVIOR!!HOWEVER BI-POLAR REMEMBER IS CLOSELY RELATED AND OFTEN OVER-LAPS ADHD.HOW OLD IS SHE?SHE MAY WANT TO COMSIDER TAKING A BENZODIAZEPENE IE KLONOPIN OR ATIVAN(LORAZEPAM) FOR THE ANXIETY ASSOC. W/ THIS WITHDRAWL PHASE-HOWEVER HER DOC HAS GOT TO KNOW, FOR HE JUST WON'T ADDMINISTER THIS DRUG WITHOUT SOME REASON AND DIAGNOSIS.AGAIN IT WOULD APPEAR TO ME AS THOUGH SHE IS MILDLY OR NONE SYMPTOMATIC OF ADHD IF THE ADDERALL IS CAUSING INSOMNIA ETC. I WOULD SUGGEST A SECOND OPINION, AND ALSO GO ONLINE TO THE ADHD WEB SITE AND FIND WHO HAS A PRELIM EVAL TEST FOR BIPOLAR AND ADHD-YOU NOT HER NEED TO TAKE THIS FOR SHE MAY NOT BE FULLY HONEST!!FEEL FREE TO EMAIL ME ANYTIME AT ***@**** for I AM CURRENTLY WORKING IN THE FIELD OF ADDICTION AT A RECOVERY HOUSE IN GA. AND ALWAYS AM ON TOP OF THE NEWEST RESEARCH AVAILABLE ON MATTERS SUCH AS THESE-LOOK FOWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU.BEST OF LUCK!!!!
169037 tn?1212561247
PLease e-mail ***@****
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GREAT RESOURCE GUIDE TO RECOVERY HOUSES, AND TREATMENT CENTERS
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