Dear Dr.
We are at the end of all options in dealing with our 20 yr. old daughter. She has had epilepsy since age 11, with her last and very extremely severe seizure at age 15. Her pediatric neurologist consistently ignored our pleas that something was wrong with her all the time her grades plummeted. As time went on her personality changed progressively for the worse. (Note: She took Depakote as prescribed for most of this time. but was weaned off it once (then back on after a mild/partial seizure) and later stopped taking any medication.) She was taking Depakote regularly (but went cold-turkey for several days prior to the severe seizure.)
While she was a good student and tested for GATE in early elementary school, since the onset of her seizures showed a steady decline in academic performance. She spent 5 years in high school, barely graduating with a 1.2 GPA. We pursued tutoring costing thousands of dollars. While she has some potentially good qualities that could serve her well in her potential profession and as an adult, we have also experienced the reality that she seems challenged mentally in many ways, what you would expect to see in someone with a low IQ.
To make matters worse, she is now in her 3rd year of stealing large sums of money from our family that has proven to be something she seems incapable of stopping. I must admit that we have treated her as a "bad kid" throughout these difficult years. At the same time, I am inclined to believe there is a fundamental reason for her behavior, having to do with brain chemistry, or possibly brain damage (oxygen deprivation?? from her last seizure?). Last year we arranged counseling (as we had previously a number of times) but she was not cooperative and we gave up.
We are looking seriously at sending her to a private occupational school where the possibility exists she can connect with her personal passion. However, we are fearful that her behavior to date will land her in prison rather than in a career and independence.
It is important to add also we strongly DO NOT suspect drug use. She has never displayed any obvious signs, and we look very carefully at that. He use of the money is on expensive clothes and personal care, plus food treats when out with friends. Her friends have always been those parents would approve of, so we are baffled.
Sorry this is so long, but again, my main question is the possibility of brain damage/chemical disorder and what can be done to accurately diagnose that condition.
Thank you.