headaches, flashbacks, and outbursts

[Behr88]

I have a constant headache that won’t go away no matter what I take.  It seems to get worse at night before I go to sleep.  I am a perfectionist, and when my headache gets worse, I have flashbacks to mistakes I have made in my life.  It is so bad that sometimes uncontrollably I scream things out—“shut up!” or “go away!”  This used to only happen at night, but now it has started occurring during the day, even when the flashbacks aren’t present.  When the headaches get bad, I scream things out that don’t even make sense.  It is like tourettes or something.  I tried going to a psychiatrist once in the past but it didn’t help and just made me feel worse to talk about my mistakes with someone.  Is this a type of disorder?  What is wrong with me?

[Behr88]

Thanks for both your help.  I kept hoping I would just snap out of this and really didn't want to admit that I had a problem.  But it seems to just be getting worse, so I'm going to get help.  Thanks again guys!

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

What you are describing is a war within yourself. It is a common and important war, and in your case, it is rather extreme and painful, and you must see a psychiatrist who can help you understand the war, resolve it, and in the meantime make it a little easier for you with medications.

[ChronicCaroline]

I clicked on your post by accident and I am glad I did! No offense but there is definately something going on and needs to be addressed ASAP! Being a perfectionist is ok to a point, but this is to a level where your prior mistakes that are deep rooted are triggering a severe type of anxiety attack or something. It doesn't sound like tourettes but as you know I am NOT a doctor, I just have dealt with anxiety, depression, repressed anger, anger management, mood instability, ect. This will only continue to get worse and your symptoms are at a level where you alone can't fix it unless one day it goes away. It may return worse though so fixing it now is best I would start with a therapist and they will tell you if a phsychiatrist is needed, however medicine seems to be in the cards for you.

Another thing, it may be some sort of neurological disorder you are showing. I am sure you will be ordered some tests for this, MRI and stuff. Just be opened minded to different ideas for your recovery it will take time. Being a perfectionist you can appreciate want to doing it right! Best of Luck!!