Helo guys...
I never thought that i will be on a topic like this discussing such a matter.....As it seems ,"it can happen to anyone"
I have a ocd and i strongly believe that it is mental from the fact that i face this problem only when i am trying to come to
sexual intercourse with a girl for the first time.
This happens to me all the time,but as soon as I achieve after
endless efforts to have a full erection and have sex with a girl everything becomes much easier for me,I know that my problem is psychological:(...I just cant accept that most of my friends can go with so different women and that i cant do the same.I am just 21 and it's logical that i would like to have sexual activity not with only one woman but its not just that,even if I will be with a woman for a long time with how can avoid my 1st time failure?If the female is a virgin things would become really really worse cause you are considered as the "expierienced one" something which will make you even more anxious.
There must be a way to cure this without medication.
Did anyone from you guys that faced(or still face) that kind of problem cured it?If I cure my self is it sure that this problem
will vanish from my life or shall I live with the fear that It will happen to me again?
My mind is spinning like crazy.With the last 2 girls I tried to do something(more like a one night stand) I failed...
I was trying to have a full erection and I caught my self shaking!What da f@ck I mean...how can other ppl have sex and not be at least a bit anxious?
I think ......and...hope that I can cure this problem by myself,
as u all say it that kind of thing is only in my mind.
What I only ask for is some advise from an expert or at least ppl with the same problem which will help me get in time this problem over.PLZ HElP I AM DESPERATE:(
I was once diagnosed with OCD - your mentioning that your OCD is "mental" and not "physical" is exactly what I was told.. I didn't have any physical rituals that are usually associated with OCD, but doctors and therapists told me that I had OCD "thought rituals"...
But, after a couple years and more research and more insight into myself, I found that for me, it is not OCD. It's a combination of anxiety, and a low threshold for traumatic events so I have a lot of mild post-traumatic flashbacks.
Anyway, that's what it's like for me, just thought I'd throw that in here.
-HardAnxiety
www.hardanxiety.blogspot.com
Hi,
I have a similar type of OCD, which is embarrassing too, because it seems so personal. I can't stop thinking of being infected from other people, mostly I keep worrying about being touched..and I know that it's irrational, but it's difficult to get over it because I've had the thoughts since I was just really little, like, 8 or 10, but they have only gotten worse now, before I could deal with it but I usually had to go and do a hell of a lot of drinking! now when I am around people I don't know I get very worried about being touched by them, and it just freaks me out, and I know what you mean it can really screw with your self esteem, anyway all I know is SSRI'S didn't do anything for me, and the new SNRI'S make anxiety a zillion times worse. But right now I take xanax and consider it as a sort of bandaid to help while I face the fears, because you need to build up self help methods naturally when it comes to OCD, but if it's really making it difficult to even be around people, then maybe talk to a pdoc or therapist.
i read your story and think it is great that you came here for help. and i agree, make sex more about connecting with a woman and less about just the sex act. sex is great, awesome, but it is even better when you WANT to look into the eyes of the person you are being intimate with. and going on anti-depressants can cause more sexual side-effects than you are having now just from your OCD.
peace,
amber
I understand your problem and I realise it isn't easy but just try getting to know the girl first on a normal friendly basis and find all the things out that you have in common first. Can you go out with a group of friends or into a place or situations that have lots of activities going on? This way you will find much more healthy things to do and when the right time comes for the other you mention, it will happen naturally. Of course the ideal situation for that is when you marry.
You may also need to look into taking better care of your health from a natural perspective such as plenty of sleep, exercise, relaxation and a good healthy diet.It will really pay off in the long run.I wish you all the best anyway.
Its defintely in your head. Antidepressants are not the right solution. Either counseling or taking your last suggestion more serioiusly, changing your relationship to sex and women, so it less about one night stands and more about real connection with a person you trust. That will probably fix it for you. If not, you should be talking to a therapist and learn more about yourself that way.