i would like some feedback on my condition..i am really scared

[terina123]

I am from Greece so sorry for my english!
I am 21 years old, female. I've always had fears and obsessions: when I was a child (from 3 to 12 years old) I was afraid that burglars would break into our house at night, I was terrified about dying, i was convinced that devil would come and kill me and once (6 years old) i suspected that my parents wanted to poison me. I was ok until 12th grade. Since then I have been tortured by anxiety, hypochondria and doubts whether the world we are living in is real, if there is life after death, if I believe that the world is real but I am crazy and the real world is completely different than what I see and if all my memories and all of my life are just on my imagination. I had been ok for some months but last week, my boyfriend's best friend was diagnosed with schizophrenia and since then I have been wondering If I have it or if I'm going to have it too! While trying to figure out if I'm sane or not I have recalled some moments of my life where my behavior was kinda weird (many times that something unexpectedly good/weird/not normal happens to my life I question whether it really happened and I need to somehow confirm it) And another one that scared me when it happened: on our first date with my boyfriend, while we were kissing I was seeing/imagining patterns and colours like i was dreaming.
Yesterday, I discussed some of those issues with my parents but they say I'm perfectly fine, and that I need to get a life because staying too much on the computer and not doing anything interesting during the day causes all these fears/questions (they might be right the only things I do during the day is go out with friends/boyfriend, eat, sleep spend time on the internet) . Even after that talk, I woke up worse than yesterday.
Am I having an anxiety breakdown or am I really losing my mind?) ? Do I need to go to a psychologist/psychiatrist or just having a full everyday life would help to erase those thoughts?
Thank you!

[terina123]

+I would like to add that I am on my period since yesterday.
I think that my obsessions are more intense when on menstruation.

[terina123]

thank you again!
Unfortunately at the time I am not able to visit a psychologist/therapist because I am on vacation on an island of Greece where even a general doctor is a privilege (he comes here once a month).
I have made some research and I have spoke on the phone with two specialists (a counselor and a psychiatrist) and both told me that they think it probably is not something serious (like schizophrenia). The psychiatrist also mentioned OCD as a probable cause of my obsessions (+I forgot to mention I repeat some phrases in my head for no reason and that I have a tic now and then). A new thing that has happened to me is that when I focus on my ears, or when it is quiet (espesially when I am trying to sleep), I hear a buzz in my ear that goes away when something else catches my attention. Is this a hallucination?? It's not a voice or a real-life sound...Is it due to my anxiety? I've never had noticed it before.
Thank you again very much!

[Dr. Kokil Mathur]

It is difficult to say whether the problem is serious or not unless a complete psychological assessment is made. Therefore it is important you consult a specialist in this area (psychologist/psychiatrist). By teaching you I mean--there are ways in which you can be actually taught to channelize your thoughts or change them to your benefit. This is in broad term called cognitive behavior therapy. It is not based on medication but on moderating behavioral techniques. Hope this helps!

[terina123]

thank you very much for your time!! your feedback is very helpful!!
what I don't understand though is if I have a serious problem or if it is anxiety problems. Also, I would like to know if by teaching me overcome my fears, you mean that the psychologist/psychiatrist will give me medication.

[Dr. Kokil Mathur]

Hi!

I can understand your apprehensions. I am happy you are reaching out to others for help and diagnosis. Our fears are often the result of our experiences and what we hear, see and think.  Also, fear is basically a survival mechanism to identify a threat and avoid it. Nothing needs to be done as long as fears do not affect our daily life and come once in a while, stay for short time and do not mentally affect us with a lingering effect. To some extent your parents are right. If you have too much free time on hand or time that is not spent in fruitful or challenging activities of interest, then mind begins to wander. It lingers on things it normally would not have. This could be happening in your case.

Also, some people are more sensitive than others to emotional experiences, fears and apprehensions. When these people are not fruitfully engaged, their mind is more susceptible to negative thoughts, images and fears.

So, yes, try and take some course you always wanted to do, learn any activity you like such as music/dance etc, join a gym, or take up  a part-time job or join a charity—anything to keep you fruitfully busy.

Also, since you have been having different fears since childhood, it is important to consult a psychologist for a detailed evaluation of fears and your apprehensions. If need be the psychologist or the psychiatrist will help you confront your fears and teach you ways to overcome them. This will strengthen your mind and make you emotionally strong. Keeping yourself busy will help your enjoy life better.

I sincerely hope you will find this information useful in your journey towards better health. Please discuss these issues with your family doctor and a psychologist to start with. They will refer you to a psychiatrist if need be.  

Good Luck, stay positive and take care!