overall getting help with problems

[aras]

I am chemically sensitive which then limits my life.  I have asthma, sleep apnea, HBP, and a few more physical symptoms.  But I have a really hard time dealing and coping with people when then don't do what they say they will or just don't give a damn about me.

I have depression, probably most of my life.  Looking back I withdrew after a friend was killed by his mother when we were in grade school.  My mother was an abuser too at least of me but not my brother.  I tried to seek help at one time as an adult to deal with my problems in growing up and a bad marriage only to get more abuse from the "professional" I was seeing.  I was not believed by other so called "professionals" about his deceptive and abusive practices so until I started having flashbacks of a rape I had been in denial of I had not sought therapy again.

However in attempting to get help over the past several years I have run into more and more "unprofessional" conduct and more and more problems in getting people to listen to me and help me.  

The most recent therapist I had tried to see yelled at me and that was that as far as I was concerned.  I know a lot of time and effort had been made to set me up with him and I feel guilty over that and not having it last more than one session but it was also good his "conduct" came out early.  He obviously didn't want to help me like many docs.

So I guess I need to write a question and maybe it will not make sense.  But how can I change me to get people to help me when all they want to do is get away from me as fast as problem?  I am very tired of this.

[Valwarr]

Chrysti sounds like she has some great advice to offer.  Sometimes it is hard finding a therapist with whom you like and are comfortable, whether it be online or in person.  I just kept trying new therapists until I found the one I was comfortable with telling my deepest.  I also found that speaking with a therapist who is part of an association or has an office at a mental health facility left no room for anyone to try anything physical.  There are good therapists out there.

You have a great deal to discuss and you are not going to be able to get it all out in one session.  Perhaps if you make a list of topics (I started one below) and start out with one of the more minor subjects (not that any of them are less important than the other) then you get to know a little about the therapist too.  Don't forget, you are allowed to ask them questions too (be nice :)  But keep the session light to start.  When you find the right one, it's most likely going to be a long relationship; take it slow.  I wish you all the very best.  One rule I try to follow is that I never ask a question (of anyone) unless I am prepared for both answers (the one I want to hear, as well as the one I don't).

life limited     chemically sensitive     asthma    
Sleep apnea      HBP                      other physical symptoms
bad marriage     I feel guilty alot       mother was an abuser
depression       abused (raped) by a professional
hard time coping with people when then don't do what they say   OR when it is obvious that people don't give a damn about me
a friend was killed by his mother when we were in grade school  
problems in getting people to listen to me and help me

[D ave Replogle]

Well someone right down my ally been a hard life for me too been through the divore thing several times moms a ***** dont no my real dad so ineed too beat the living **** out of something too fell better and ithink iam beating myself too death my best freind died in march of 1999 and i dont think i no how too deal with it hes was my brother or my dad for all that says he thought me everything too live for and respect for others if it wasnt for him i would be in prison or dead by now it just hurts u no sometimes i pick up the phone too call him and i catch myself dialing the phone and say what the hell am i doing well i dont no but this anxiety **** sucks just as bad as the buffalo bills do thjis year so anyone listening TAKE CARE AND LIVE LIFE WHILE U CAN AND BE NICE CAUSE U NEVER NO WHEN YOUR NUMBER IS UP ITS UP  BYE BYE

[Chrysti]

I am commenting to your original question, and to your comment to the doctor who tried to offer advice.  Let me begin by saying that the words that will follow were learned by me at a high expense to my pocket book, but in the long run the cost was most definitely worth it.

To be brutally honest, it sounds as if you are EXPECTING to be let down by doctors.  If you go into a therapy session expecting to be "scammed", then not only are you wasting your money, but you are wasting the therapist's valuable time.  I am sure that you have heard over and over again the saying that in order to receive help with anything, you must begin by helping yourself.  There will be no free miracle treatment or advice on any site that you visit, or in any book that you read.  While I believe that it is crucial to feel comfortable with your therapist, it sounds like you will not find someone with whom you are comfortable if you approach the situation in a negative way.  Doctors are here to help us, even at the high price that we sometimes pay.  

I wish you the best of luck in finding the right therapist for you, and I hope that you do not take offense to what I have written.  Remember, almost NOTHING in this life is free, (well, this advice was, but I certainly paid for it) especially the things that we need the most!

[Chrysti]

Let me also say that I am sorry that you were so abused by your first "professional".  After rereading your original comment, I began to understand a little better your pessimism to doctor's visits.  Wouldn't online therapy be worth a shot, as the doctor previously stated?  Then, you cannot be yelled at and certainly not physically abused.  This may be worth a try in the beginning, especially to break the first layers of your protective shield.

Once again, the best of luck to you.  My heart goes out to you.

[aras]

So pay some money so I can get ripped off more by the mental health field.  I am so tired of that - paid to get "sick" why should I have to pay to get well?  

Something is very wrong with this system when you have to pay and pay and pay and not get anywhere positive; maybe yelled at a few more times in the process.

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

I don't know enough about you to answer this very important question. You might try a period of online therapy to begin to sort this out..and then maybe get enough of an answer to solve this problem. You definetly need therapy to resolve this.

If you want to try online therapy, go to my Masteringstress program( link above) and sign up for a review by me.