paranoia

[Skiboy]

My wife displaces most of the personality traits I’ve seen in articles for PPD diagnosis.  Her mother, whom she does not speak to, also displaces the same traits.  In addition, I believe my wife also suffers from mild depression and anxiety, which are prevalent in her mother and father’s families.  We been together since high school and we have three wonderful, well adjusted grade school children.  I’ve seen her fight or be mad at almost everyone she’s ever had a personal relationship with.  

I love her.  She’s a great mother and was a caring wife, but her condition is worsening with the stresses for life.  She is aliening people (including me) even quicker than before and basically blames me for all her unhappiness.  I’m at my wits end.  I know that at least I need to seek help in dealing with her if I want to save our family.  How do I approach her family and my family to get them to understand that she’s sick and their fighting response to her grudges, accusations etc, is not going to help or change her?  I feel if I can get them to understand, i.e. swallow their pride, it would be a significant reduction in stress in her life

[lesmouse]

I totally empathize with your situation, having found myself in a very similar situation.  My ex-boyfriend also presents every single sympton of PPD, unfortunately coupled by anti-social tendancies which led to the relationship becoming verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive. I also have attempted countless times over the past year to encourage him to get help, not only to no avail, but as you have also experienced -- to my personal detriment.  Dealing with a loved one with PPD is a very heartbreaking, frustrating, and exhausting experience.  If nothing else, please know that you are not alone in your experiences.  If you are unable to get your wife the help she needs, perhaps you should seek counseling on your own, if for no other reason than to have an outlet for your feelings and aquire some coping skills.  If anyone out there has ANY insight for either of us, please write!!

[Skiboy]

Thank you for the reply.

Pointing out the unhappiness or suggesting we get help, only provokes and intensifies the attacks on me. I’ve been trying it for almost three years now.   She's refuses to consider any therapy including joint marriage counseling.  I really don't know how to get her help.

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

It would seem to be a tough assigment to get her family to change if you are saying they display the same chararcteristics.  The only real change will take place after your wife agrees to get some professional help.  I would approach it that way, pointing out her unhappiness and depression, and strongly suggesting that she at least see a psychiatrist , and consider some medication to help her get through the day.