I totally empathize with your situation, having found myself in a very similar situation. My ex-boyfriend also presents every single sympton of PPD, unfortunately coupled by anti-social tendancies which led to the relationship becoming verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive. I also have attempted countless times over the past year to encourage him to get help, not only to no avail, but as you have also experienced -- to my personal detriment. Dealing with a loved one with PPD is a very heartbreaking, frustrating, and exhausting experience. If nothing else, please know that you are not alone in your experiences. If you are unable to get your wife the help she needs, perhaps you should seek counseling on your own, if for no other reason than to have an outlet for your feelings and aquire some coping skills. If anyone out there has ANY insight for either of us, please write!!
Thank you for the reply.
Pointing out the unhappiness or suggesting we get help, only provokes and intensifies the attacks on me. I’ve been trying it for almost three years now. She's refuses to consider any therapy including joint marriage counseling. I really don't know how to get her help.
It would seem to be a tough assigment to get her family to change if you are saying they display the same chararcteristics. The only real change will take place after your wife agrees to get some professional help. I would approach it that way, pointing out her unhappiness and depression, and strongly suggesting that she at least see a psychiatrist , and consider some medication to help her get through the day.