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Avatar universal

please help..I am obsessed with ms

18 years ago my symptoms started with a bladder problem where i went to many dr.s (urologists, gynocologists, neurologists) no one found anything wrong.  14 years ago went to a nero who thought i might have ms. (mri's were normal), at this point my only symptom was the bladder, but my anxieties brought about a host of sensory symptoms (tingling, numbness, burning). I then went to NYC to see an MS specialist who did a spinal tap and blood work--all normal.  He said I didnt have ms, and it took me months before I started to believe him.  Bladder problem went on until right after I gave birth to my first child.  It waxes and wanes a little now, but most of the time my bladder feels normal. (bladder symptoms were feeling like i had to urinate all the time even after emptying). About 5 years ago I woke up from a deep sleep and my vision was distorted.  THis lasted about 30  seconds, but has other times since. Also, one pupil is larger than the other(they react the same to light) and my vision is streaky when an object moves quickly.(like when i wave my hand in front of my face). i also have many floaters and after-images.  I still think I have ms, i look on this forum all the time and other web sites to read about it. I am obsessed with it like I was years ago.  I am too scared to go back to a neurologist because I couldnt handle the diagnosis.  Physically, I feel fine, I am not limited in my physical abilities at all.  I am on ephexor for this problem as well. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.. thanks for listening.
28 Responses
242532 tn?1269553979
You are a perfect candidate for psychotherapy. Your therapist can help you sort out anxiety symptoms from physical symptoms, and then you will finally get relief from this obsession. Pills are not enough.
Avatar universal

Have you ever seen a therapist or psychiatrist? I know what it's like to obsess over your health. I have been on medication for GAD/Panic Disorder and Obsessive/Compulsive tendencies for a few years now. It has helped me a lot! I know people have different views on medication for mental health, but it's worked in my case. Maybe just a few therapy sessions would help you out. If it's any comfort to you, my dad and my uncle both have MS, and I happen to know for a fact that if a spinal tap AND an MRI shows nothing abnormal, then you DON'T have MS. But people can show you and tell you over and over again, yet you're still afraid...I think seeing a therapist would help you a lot. For a long time I was convinced I had a heart problem because of my panic attacks...sometimes I still worry when I get symptoms...but I am a lot better. I know how it feels, and you can't just "get over it". Sometimes you need help. Good luck and God Bless!!!
Avatar universal
Thank you so much Aruba....I just keep thinking that since I had the mris so long ago, that maybe the technology wasnt so great and the lesions didnt show up..or for some with ms, the lesions dont show for years in the beginning.  I dont know why I torture myself with this. Ive been basically ok for 18 years. Ive had some symptoms, but nothing that limits me at all.  My view is that if I do have it, its been mild this far and most likely will remain so.  I cant go back for more testing and more dr.'s..they can really drive you crazy...and all my anxieties will also drive me nuts.  If I do have it then I will find out one day, but only if something really bad happens and I have to go to the hospital../then ill deal with it. I know there are medications now that can slow the progression and stop future damage, but there are controversies over whether or not to take the meds when its mild.  Not knowing the course of the disease dr's are recomminding it to everyone newly diagnosed, but ive had symtoms for years, and im ok without meds. ALso, they could be toxic and there are no long-term studies. Anyway, I have been to therapists, but not long term. I take effexor for depression/anxiety and Im going to start going to a therapist soon. Take care Aruba...and thank you!!!
Avatar universal
You're very welcome! You know, when I was being tested for everything in the book, the first thing my doctors tested for was MS, since it's in my family. The doctor DID find some spots on the brain, but he said in most people it's actually normal. But I have to go back for my follow-up in a couple months (it's been a year since the MRI) to make sure nothing has changed. He said if nothing has changed, then I am home free. Also, I think MS hits women harder and faster then men, so if you've been okay for 18 years, I'm sure you're fine. My dad has had MS I think for about 18 years, actually...and he's definitely noticed changes...he had to medically retire 5 years ago. But he is on some really good meds that have kept him active and able to function without any obvious disabilities! Plus, there are only 2 kinds of MS that I know of: Relapsing/Remitting, and Progressive. I don't think it would stay dormant for so long. You would have either gotten worse or it would come and go in waves, with each relapse causing more obvious symptoms. Hope this gives you some more comfort!
Avatar universal
Well the only thing that has really changed in the past 18 years is the vision thing that occured 5 years ago.  So if I do have it and have only had 2 attacks in 18 years, I guess that is pretty good.. I also noticed that with long-term stress like ive been under for the past 2 mos.  I get alot of tingling and strange sensations in my body.  After a while, when i calm down and stop focusing on it, they go away.  I also have numbness in the tip of one toe that doesnt go away.  Anyway, Im glad your dad is doing okay, good for him.  Im sure your fine too, doesnt sound like you have any ms symptoms.  Take care Aruba and stay healthy!!
Avatar universal
I knew there was a second thing I wanted to tell you.  Sometimes people experience physical symptoms nder extreme stress.  My psychiatrist told me about a woman who actually became paralyzed herself because she was the caretaker for two family members and she felt overwhelmed.  Once she learned why it had happened she wasn't paralyzed any more.  Also, there was a person who learned from her doctor that she was going to be blind some day, became blind immediately because she was so terrified.  It took therapy to help her get her sight back.  I am sure you could find more stories if you looked.  Try to have faith in a therapist and see what happens.
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