Aa
question
Hello sir. I am a 34 yr old female, married w/ no kids. I have been diagnosed with borderline and/or bipolar in the past (which btw, I'm totally not...think i was misdiagnosed imo). I have been hospitalized for suicidal thoughts & cutting issues in the past couple of years. I'm not seeing a doctor or therapist now cuz I don't trust them whatsoever because they are so quick to involuntarily hosptialize people in the state of Florida. Anyway, I have been doing really awesome for a year now. I am no longer depressed & there is no stress in my life thanks to my spirituality (I'm considered "New Age"). I haven't cut in a year until now. I cut because I am not depressed, but because I am so spiritual and it helps me stay grounded. I am operating on a higher vibration than most people so cutting "grounds" me & allows me to be and experience human. I am more connected with the "other side" and parallel universes (sometimes I see things/people that arent there...these are called "bleed throughs") as I am also a young soul which makes me disconnected with this world, this incarnation, this universe. I'm having thoughts of suicide because I am just ready to go "home". I'm kinda like just done here. My husband is leaving town next week, and I want to hurt myself bad...not kill myself so much but I have this urge to match the cut that I made on my other arm a couple of years ago. A couple of people (on this site) have suggested I ask you about this. So, what is your opinion or what do you recommend? Like I said, I am very happy now (not manic), not stressed, nor depressed. Thank you for your time sir & sorry for troubling you about this.
Hey do you know what its like to be raped, really raped repeatedly, i do and if the word triggers me thats my right to have that you don't have the right to say i can't read what i want, anyway keep the forum, i won't need it soon as soon as therapy starts i don't plan on being anywhere not in this life anyway.
Listen! I was totally NOT trying to offend anyone especially you irisflower. I truly am a concerned citizen for you and anyone who wishes to end their life. I was simply trying to reach out to you. Life is the most precious thing that we poses. If you feel like nothing now, you really will be nothing if you kill yourself. So maybe try thinking of it in that light. Is there someway you can make a difference. EX: Are you creative? Can you teach yourself a craft such as crocheting or knitting and make blankets for babies or homeless people, cancer patients? Look at them and know that life could be so much worse than what you have. I don't know I'm just throwing some ideas out. The person who receives the gift will be so happy that it will rub off on you and help you greatly with depression. " There is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving".
Another something you can go after: Get to know your creator, the truth about him. " Draw close to God and he will draw close to you" " and he will open his hand and satisfy your every desire" Get to know that he is a "God of love" and would never ever want to see you murder yourself.
I know you said you where not going to comment anymore but I do hope you read this.
BTW you said you are where Borderline BPD. My husband is borderline Schizo. The Dr. even thought he might not be schizo.and took him off his meds. Within 6 weeks he was back in the hospital with another episode. He too wanted to kill himself when he was in that state of mind. Thankfully the because he said that, the ambulance drivers had to take him to the hospital, by law. It was the worst being in that hospital, lumped together with all the other patient's, locked up like a prison, he couldn't see be but for 2 hours a day sitting the hallway. We couldn't even hold hands. He was not aloud to see the kids, which would have made him get better faster, because he loves them more than anything. So when you say the system is broken down and doesn't work good, I completely understand. My husband is now almost a year from that experience and is on a very low dose of medication. For which we can both be very thankful. Now I'm not telling you that you have to take medication. What I'm saying is that our knowledge of the one and only true God and his promise for the very near future that all sickness and death will be done away with here on Earth, has helped us through this very emotional and upsetting ordeal. You too can have this same hope and purpose without looking very hard. If you would like to know where to find this hope, just let me know and I will be more than happy to give you spiritual advice.
BUT PLEASE WHATEVER YOU DO JUST P.U.S.H.
Pray Until Something Happens.
DO NOT TAKE YOUR LIFE< EMBRACE IT!!!!!!
Another something you can go after: Get to know your creator, the truth about him. " Draw close to God and he will draw close to you" " and he will open his hand and satisfy your every desire" Get to know that he is a "God of love" and would never ever want to see you murder yourself.
I know you said you where not going to comment anymore but I do hope you read this.
BTW you said you are where Borderline BPD. My husband is borderline Schizo. The Dr. even thought he might not be schizo.and took him off his meds. Within 6 weeks he was back in the hospital with another episode. He too wanted to kill himself when he was in that state of mind. Thankfully the because he said that, the ambulance drivers had to take him to the hospital, by law. It was the worst being in that hospital, lumped together with all the other patient's, locked up like a prison, he couldn't see be but for 2 hours a day sitting the hallway. We couldn't even hold hands. He was not aloud to see the kids, which would have made him get better faster, because he loves them more than anything. So when you say the system is broken down and doesn't work good, I completely understand. My husband is now almost a year from that experience and is on a very low dose of medication. For which we can both be very thankful. Now I'm not telling you that you have to take medication. What I'm saying is that our knowledge of the one and only true God and his promise for the very near future that all sickness and death will be done away with here on Earth, has helped us through this very emotional and upsetting ordeal. You too can have this same hope and purpose without looking very hard. If you would like to know where to find this hope, just let me know and I will be more than happy to give you spiritual advice.
BUT PLEASE WHATEVER YOU DO JUST P.U.S.H.
Pray Until Something Happens.
DO NOT TAKE YOUR LIFE< EMBRACE IT!!!!!!
You don't have to go and you don't have to censor what you say (as long as it is not obscene, etc, etc). You should see some of the things I have posted (or maybe you shouldn't -some things have been pretty bad).
I think it's unavoidable that at times people do get triggered or have a reaction to others comments. I know I sometimes struggle or feel uncomfortable with what people write. That doesn't mean that they should stop posting about them though.
I will sometimes even disagree with comments the doctor makes. While I can try and understand his perspective, a little difficult in this medium where he responds once, I still have the right to my thoughts, feelings and opinions. Because we have differences of opinion, etc that does not mean that we should not talk about them or the subject.
Many people who use these forums have personal experience of mental illness, etc and while that can make us resilient it can also leave us feeling vulnerable.
I can empathize with people who struggle with some issues (for me those are labels and hospital and support and a whole host of other things) bu that shouldn't preclude others from discussing them and understanding them and trying to get closure on them.
I'm one of those people who despite warnings in subject headings, etc just have to read the content. It can be pretty bad and you would think that I would learn, but no.
I guess that's a bit like when driving past an accident. How many people don't look?
I was wondering if it was my fault that there had been problems here. I have been accused of taking all my toys and playing in someone elses sandpit before. Probably partly because I wasn't free to express my thoughts and feelings. That was a bit like Zack's comment about medication I think. Like you have to do what someone wants you to do despite having thoughts and feelings of your own and being told to quash those. Which can be pretty frustrating and hurtful when you're trying to figure out who you are and what you want.
I suggested people post here if they had questions. I feel that I've done something although I only ever wanted people to get the best advice and to be pointed in the most appropriate direction.
Maybe the problem is that I tried to support people when I could barely support myself. Did I need others around me to make me feel more well?
I feel stressed. I feel I have let others down when they have needed support the most. We all know that that should come from health professionals but ...
I think it's unavoidable that at times people do get triggered or have a reaction to others comments. I know I sometimes struggle or feel uncomfortable with what people write. That doesn't mean that they should stop posting about them though.
I will sometimes even disagree with comments the doctor makes. While I can try and understand his perspective, a little difficult in this medium where he responds once, I still have the right to my thoughts, feelings and opinions. Because we have differences of opinion, etc that does not mean that we should not talk about them or the subject.
Many people who use these forums have personal experience of mental illness, etc and while that can make us resilient it can also leave us feeling vulnerable.
I can empathize with people who struggle with some issues (for me those are labels and hospital and support and a whole host of other things) bu that shouldn't preclude others from discussing them and understanding them and trying to get closure on them.
I'm one of those people who despite warnings in subject headings, etc just have to read the content. It can be pretty bad and you would think that I would learn, but no.
I guess that's a bit like when driving past an accident. How many people don't look?
I was wondering if it was my fault that there had been problems here. I have been accused of taking all my toys and playing in someone elses sandpit before. Probably partly because I wasn't free to express my thoughts and feelings. That was a bit like Zack's comment about medication I think. Like you have to do what someone wants you to do despite having thoughts and feelings of your own and being told to quash those. Which can be pretty frustrating and hurtful when you're trying to figure out who you are and what you want.
I suggested people post here if they had questions. I feel that I've done something although I only ever wanted people to get the best advice and to be pointed in the most appropriate direction.
Maybe the problem is that I tried to support people when I could barely support myself. Did I need others around me to make me feel more well?
I feel stressed. I feel I have let others down when they have needed support the most. We all know that that should come from health professionals but ...
i wish everyone the best of luck. i will no longer use this website...i dont feel that i should have to censor what i say & i dont care if it offends or triggers other people, cuz this is a free country & i can say what i want. you dont like the content,then stop reading. im tired of other people's comments on here (excluding Jaquta--you have been helpful). i mean it this time...peace out...and i wish you happiness Jaquta.
It's a promising start being able to talk to someone, and feel safe, from a hotline. Well done!!
I bet that felt very validating and worthwhile. It's nice to have someone who will listen to you and who can relate.
I'm still not sure people really understand and think that we are just victims of our own making. Which is crazy, because we know part of that is true.
I'm glad that you've had a productive day and have been included in plans for this evening. It sounds like it should be good.
Trust that you can and ring the hotline again if you need to. Remember these are only short-term solutions though and that you need to look for better solutions long-term.
Would you and your husband consider relocating in order for you to access care?
I think it has been a better day for most people. I used that word and I'm sorry if it was triggering. I feel it was useful to describe the intensity of how I feel and what people expect of us when saying, ... just get help from these people. No one understands or can comprehend that. I find it a useful comparison.
I bet that felt very validating and worthwhile. It's nice to have someone who will listen to you and who can relate.
I'm still not sure people really understand and think that we are just victims of our own making. Which is crazy, because we know part of that is true.
I'm glad that you've had a productive day and have been included in plans for this evening. It sounds like it should be good.
Trust that you can and ring the hotline again if you need to. Remember these are only short-term solutions though and that you need to look for better solutions long-term.
Would you and your husband consider relocating in order for you to access care?
I think it has been a better day for most people. I used that word and I'm sorry if it was triggering. I feel it was useful to describe the intensity of how I feel and what people expect of us when saying, ... just get help from these people. No one understands or can comprehend that. I find it a useful comparison.
Can i say, that this is really getting out of control, you say you don't need help but because someone else has an opinion you want to cut yourself. Also can i say the word rape is not a word to be used lightly, that word can be a pretty big trigger in itself, for me anyway and i am sure many other people.
If you are doing as well as you say why do you need to cut? There are others who don't function at all.
If you are doing as well as you say why do you need to cut? There are others who don't function at all.
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