529862 tn?1216607670


to long life story to get into, but basically, i've been depressed since 1993, i'm 40 years old, and all my life I've been scared of God.  I'ts easy to believe i'm dying and going to hell, but not dying and going to heaven. I run from God, because I feel i'm all the negative stuff that's in the Bible, like " even the devils believe and tremble" heck yeah tremble, who wants to go to hell.  I know God by reading the Bible in the past, but don't know His Love, and now I've gone so long on this depression, I find it all boring, and it wears out my brain with worry, I don't have honest desire, only fear desire, I don't necessarily hate people, but I know I don't have feelings of love for anyone, I know I am selfish. I don't know why I am that way, but I am.  I feel the only way out of  my depression will heal is if I give it all to God and for some reason I can't or I feel it's to late, like i've done the undeniable sin and there is no hope, or deep down  truth is I don't want to give it up for Him. You know people if someone or something tragic goes wrong in their lives, they usually get down on their knees and pray to God for help, they have the Ultimate One to turn to, but what if your problem, (even if it is my own fault) is with God, then who do you turn to? NO ONE  abosolutely NO ONE. Go through live feeling that way! IT'S HORRIBLE, it's eternal torture. Does anyone ever go through the same thing? Please no go get saved speeches!
3 Responses
212753 tn?1275073111
NO you wont here get saved speeches from me I have felt that way  I dont think you are selfish and ussually you can find the strength from with in yourself. Dont be so hard on yourself
Now I do find that ussually its not God or the Goddess that we have the problem , its the way people interpret God and The Goddess. My God and Goddess are loving and compassionate and help me through everything.
another problem too is that people deny the Goddess. They are  both there and they are within us as well
I meditate and they speak to me during this and help me find the answers I seeking within myself that were there all along.
depression cant be helped by giving it all to God and the Goddess . you have to be will to seek help and to help yourself.
diet 6 small meals a day with lots of fruit, veggies and small portions of lean meats.
NO sugar or caffiene as these aggravate depression
exercise at least 30 minutes a day even if it is fust a brisk walk. This will raise your sereitonin levels and help lift your mood.
then see a psychiatrist to be evalutated and a therapist to help give you the toolss needed for dealing with depression and to get all the emotional baggage off your back that you have been toting around. I found the therapy to be the best thing in my treatment
you hang in there and dont be so hard on yourself.Pm me anytime
Love Venora
460185 tn?1326077772
No "get saved" speeches from here either.

Depression, according to some, is a treatable disease.  I don't know if that's true because I've been depressed ever since I can remember.  There have been postings on this Forum about meds, meds and therapy, therapy, etc.  I have no idea what would work for you and have a feeling even you don't know what would work for you.  What I pick up from your post is anger and frustration - anger in a society that tells us anger is bad.  Anger isn't bad if it's channelled the right way and yours sounds like it's being channelled back around and onto yourself.  Anger turned inward - another phrase used to describe depression.

IMHO there are no easy answers or solutions to your depression.  It's a long walk and a long struggle.  We tend to get used to being depressed and feel anxious if we aren't.  If you really, really want out of your depression you might have to ask yourself what the first step is going to be and then .... take a chance and try taking that first step.  Scary.  But you have unknown and unseen people at this Forum who are here to offer encouragement, support and empathy.

529862 tn?1216607670
Thanks for both your inputs. I'm still numb in this area. I'll be sure to think about giving up sugar/caffeine. thanks
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