I've been feeling the same way. I'm 47 and also stuck in perimenopause. I've been a happy person my whole life, even if the world is falling down around me. Not anymore!
Now I feel depressed most days. I don't want to get out of bed. I feel like I need naps more often than not to get through the rest of my day. I could cry at the drop of a pin most times. Then I become irritable and snappy (I was NEVER like that). My attention span is out the window. My memory stinks now. I have no drive to do anything. Everything overwhelms me! This perimenopause and menopause thing, for most of us, is cruel torture! You could go visit your gynecologist and ask him to run some bloodwork to see where you are...if menopause is around the corner (unless you already rounded that corner). Tell him your problem with medications and what you fear happening. Maybe they could give you some hormonal replacement. See what they say. Maybe they will also check your thyroid, as this is a common time for that to drop off! Hang in there! Many of us feel like we are going crazy at this time in life.
If it is the menopause, then kazy is right, HRT can work wonders for that. Would you rather suffer all these distressing things, rather than take medication to relieve them? I took HRT for 13 years, as I had an early menopause, without any ill effects.
Obviously only a doctor can help you with this. Don't put up with this any longer.
Get checked out, there is a lot of debate as to whether or not emotional disorders are hereditary. They do know that watching a parent suffer like you did can play a role in you developing similar problems. Think long and hard about HRT and weigh the pros and cons. They carry as many problems as medication for depression and/or anxiety. Menopause is different for everyone, but this could also be depression. See an Endocrinologist to check your thyroid and hormone levels. Talk to him/her about HRT.
I was thrown into menopause with a hysterectomy and refused HRT and did just fine. Don't assume anything, get checked out so you know for sure what you are dealing with. Good luck and take care!
Thank you so much for your info its nice to know I'm not alone in all this. I have just had blood work done and she said I'm going through the start of menopause but I honestly never realised it would so intense. I bought some herbal medication a couple days ago and this is helping calm things down a bit. But if the effects get worse I will go back. We have to knuckle down and get on with things I guess...lol.
I do hope you feel better soon. Let us know how you get on.
I will do and thank you so much for your support.