I had a psychological breakdown about 5 years ago due to my mothers' history of being a *********. A few years later i decided to get help to no avail. I had no family support what so ever. I was diagnosed dellusional hysterical and bi polar. I rented a room from my younger cousin, who was also raised an orphan and is probably inbred, he doesn't have any kids and is anti social. I gained a tremendous amount of weight due to medications and I assumed that he detected how sick and prone I was to being led astray. He raped me in secret and moved to New York City from Buffalo, NY, now he's a 27 year old kid that lives in Brooklyn. I have not gotten my kids back from my mother and have no direction in my life and if I live alone I will surely want try to commit suicide. I am very ashamed that this happened to me to the point that I would love more than anything to die or even have a man take my life. I'm 30, am I at a greater risk of being locked up in a mental institution or finding a nice person to be in a normal relationship with?
can some women be too attractive that it scares men into not getting involved unless they think they can have sex. I don't have casual sex and I suffer as well from self hatred and hate and disgust for my skin color. but in scret to most.