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Avatar universal

Can someone please evaluate me?

I had previously posted this question of the Teen Depression forum, but I was that many of the questions there lacked responses, thus, why I'm also posting my question here. So for the second time, I'll try to keep it simple:

I surely hope this is nothing and I'm just overthinking it, but I'd like to like to have an outside party evaluate me to see if anything is bothersome about my behavior, or is there is a conclusion I can come to. My name is Millie, I'm 15, and I've been previously diagnosed with depression, ADHD/ADD, and generalized anxiety. I was diagnosed with all of this after a few "freak out" sessions where I would yell and cry in emotional rage. I was also becoming very depressive at the time, resulting in bouts of self-harm and suicide attempts. I was hospitalized in an institution twice, and that's where I was diagnosed. They put me on antidepressants and let me tell you.... that **** does NOT work. My condition became worse; my eating habits widely fluctuated, I was self-harming more, and I lost contact in reality (in the sense that I couldn't accurately recall events). Even my focus was at the worst it had ever been. Of course, I tried to hide all this from my parents. I didn't want to make their lives worse than I had already made them. Anyways, fast forward to present day and I've been off the meds for about a year. My mood shifts have been better, but I still don't feel "good". Despite taking ADD/ADHD meds, I still can't seem to focus often. To put things short, I'm basically a circumstantial, indecisive mess. Also, I'm not sure if this will help, but here's extra info about me in case it does.

- I have a very high IQ
- I was left to live alone with only one of my parents for an entire year
- I have absolutely DREADFUL sleep habits (I usually only get 2-3 hours a sleep, but that's happened every since I was little)
- I'm very active and have relatively good physical health (except my asthma)
- My depressive moods and anger are the worst of my symptoms
- I can be extremely hyperactive and goofy to the point where I'm making a fool of myself
- Socially awkward

Thank you to anyone who can help me.
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Avatar universal
Why dont you try taichi or headset with calming song it helps people to increase brain fuctionality to think before action also can supress agression to train minds, if u having about a rage or depression, inhale and exhale and listen to a calming song.
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1 Comments
Thank you. Are there any artists you recommend? I listen to a lot of Frederic Chopin... I'm not sure if classical music is what you mean.
Avatar universal
No real way for us to know -- we're not experts.  Most problems experienced by young people are not the same as those experienced by adults -- mental disturbances in kids isn't the same as the mental illness that most people talk about that is diagnosed in adults starting in late teens to late twenties, usually.  Also, and this isn't important, but we actually have no way to test IQ -- everyone is born with the same brain and presumably the same ability to learn, which is what intelligence is.  Why some learn better than others is complex, but IQ tests can only test what the people making the test know, and that's not the same as what you're capable of learning.  As for meds, some work for us and some don't, it's not that all meds don't, but meds are much more problematic for young people because the brain hasn't finished developing yet.  And if you get meds in a hospital, they usually overmedicate because the main objective is to clear the bed for another patient.  Anyway, the best thing anyone can tell you is to get into therapy with a psychologist who specializes in treating young people and discuss with that person what you ought to do and whether a different med might be necessary or whether you can work it out without them, remembering that a different med might work a whole lot better than the ones you were on.  
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5 Comments
And if you do need meds, the psychologist will refer you to a psychiatrist.
I would prefer not to see a medical professional in real life, as I've already wrecked much of my parents life. I will be going to college in two years, and so I had thought I could see a doctor then, but everything's getting worse. I feel like I'm losing my grip. Is there any online professional you could refer me to?
Also, the pills were later adjusted by my psychiatrist, and I was also put on multiple brands... still nothing worked.
Can't help you with online help -- don't believe in it myself.  The internet is a zoo.  You also haven't ruined your parent's lives, and getting better will only make you an easier person to be around for you and others.  And there is only real life -- there is no phony life.  Here's what it sounds like to me -- many of us with mental illness just give up and avoid -- it's easier especially after a lot of failure getting better.  But wait until you're old to do that.  Young people are very adaptable, but it will take effort and work.  Seeing a therapist is still my suggestion, as it will get you out of your house and out of your bubble for a while, which the internet doesn't do -- it just makes the bubble tighter.  
Thank you for you help. I'll try what I can.
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