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Avatar universal

Cant control my emotions

I cannot control being paranoid and angry when my boyfriend does not report to me what he was doing. This only occurs when he is with his bunch of friends with girls in the clique. I get really paranoid and cant help thinking. and i will go crazy when he never make me feel safe. i will become violent and uncontrollable and i will spam calls and make his life difficult. My mood become really extreme and it will bother me the whole day. My mind is just out of control and it is not me. How can i help myself from not being like this, because I really hate myself reacting this way.
7 Responses
5618493 tn?1371330973
You need to just try and let him be himself. Honestly I used to get the same way with my boyfriend, and I was also on drugs, and the drugs make it uncontrollable. But honestly, all it does is push him away until he is actually hiding things from you if he isn't already. I had to leave my guy because he got so out of control because of my out of controlled behavor.
4851940 tn?1515694593
If you want to have a good relationship and not fall out with your boyfriend, you are going to have to learn to give him space and trust him.

By going mental and paranoid and arguing with him about it, will just drive him away.

Distract yourself with some hobby so that you do not think about where he is.  Every time you have a negative thought, talk positively to yourself by saying to yourself that if you get up tight and so jealous like a green-eyed monster, it will just drive him away.

It is normal to feel jealous, but not to such an extreme that will harm your relationship.

When he goes for a night out with a mixed group of people, can you not go with him?

Best wishes.
4851940 tn?1515694593
Do you notice at all whether you get much worse a few days before your period starts?

If so, you may be suffering from Premenstrual Tension (PMT) also known as Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS).

Make sure you eat a healthy and balanced diet with fresh fruit and veg.  Cut out junk food and fizzy drinks.  Evening Primrose may help.

If not, see your doctor to check your blood for a hormone imbalance.

Best wishes.
Avatar universal
I did try to distract myself but not even 10minutes pass, I will keep thinking about him again. It just get so uncontrollable. I can't concentrate on my own thing.
Avatar universal
I know it will drive him away. But at that point of time I just need him to give me back a text and assure me. I will try my best to let him be himself. I'm finding ways to calm myself down.
Avatar universal
If you find that you cannot calm yourself down about your boyfriend, you may have a medical problem which a doctor or counselor can help you with.  The first step is recognizing the problem, which you have.  That's good.  Wish you the best.
4851940 tn?1515694593
As you are having such big problems about controlling your emotions, I would suggest that you do see your doctor to check your hormone levels.

The other thing that can cause all this uncontrollable emotion is because of anxiety and possibly depression and a very low esteem of yourself.

If you are too young to go on any medication to calm you down, then Cognitive Behaviour Therapy counselling may be of benefit for you.

You do need to be able to control your emotions to a certain degree.
The other thing is if you are getting so uptight when he doesn't return your texts immediately, appears that you do not trust him.

Blokes hate to be "chased" and not have their freedom and feel tied to a woman's apron strings.  If there is no trust in a relationship and you need confirmation of his loyalty all the time, then the relationship will not last very long.  

Your profile does not say how old you are.  But I get a picture that you are quite young and lacking in maturity.  Is this your first boyfriend?  (You do not need to answer that).

Hope you get on OK and do lots of positive talking to yourself and engross yourself in your hobbies to help you relax.

Best wishes.
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