I am uncertain of the NY area but here in CA ther are clinics for people without insurance to go to for Help, perhaps put it in the search engine and your Area , and see if thre is anything, I would expect something to come up.I am so sorry you feel so bad , life ***** sometimes doesnt it, How about you tell yourself you will feel better soon ,that this will pass, say it over and over,convince yourself as if you wre saying it to someone else.Write down all the good things about you , make a list.Have you any friends to chat to or Family to be with sometimes as plain old Lonliness can trigger this off. Keep those old negative thoughts at Bay,dont dwell on past worrys as thats all they are, Past. Let us know how you are doing,this will pass.
I'm sorry you're feeling this way! Maybe I'd had ideas on how you could get help if I'd lived in the US. Sadly I know nothing about how the system really works there. I've got a hard time even understanding the concept of insurance coverage and medical aid...
I'm bumping this up, maybe someone has ideas?
Florena