Depressed and confused

[jenny_paradise]

Hi everyone,
I'm a teenager in high school and my depression has reached a point of becoming unbearable. I've known about it for a few months, but its always seemed manageable on my own. Now, its come to a point where I am extremely tired all the time and cannot function as I should be able to. I honestly would rather be asleep than awake. I am unhappy or empty all the time and I seem to over eat to compensate for my lack of happiness. My relationships with everyone have become strained and I rarely go out with friends anymore and I choose to stay in my room all day than spend time with my family. I've seriously considered running away a number of times because I feel like I would be happier somewhere other than here. I've never self-harmed but I think about it a lot.

I've never seen a doctor about this because I guess I'm scared to tell others about it. Even posting about it on here was hard for me to do. My friends and family don't know about it because it seems impossible to talk about it with them. I guess they either don't notice I act this way or don't care.

I guess my question is what should I do from here? Making hard decisions is on my list of impossible things too. Would it be completely irrational to run away? Should I go see a doctor? By myself? Should I tell my parents? If so, how? Would the doctors make me take pills? I'm already very paranoid and not sure how I feel about it.

I would really appreciate it if someone who went through something similar or has past experience could share some advice.

[4Maddie44]

Hello.  It is up to you whether you choose to take medication or not.  If you really don't want to do this, and feel you can ciope with your depression in other ways, then it is up to you.

I would strongly advise you tell your parents, but I am aware that will be difficult.  I feel you will be really relived sharing with others you are close to.

People here know exactly what you are going through, and you will find a lot of support here.  It is your decision how you deal with this, but I think you will struggle if you do this alone.  

You may be surprised how supportive your parents and close friends can be.  Many of us would not have been able to cope with our depression without anti depressant medication, and a lot of people advocate talking to a therapist.  If you can get someone to visit a doctor with you, and discuss exactly how you are feeling,  it will, I hope help.  Don't bottle things up.  

Don't be ashamed of how you feel.  There are thousands of people in this world with depression, and doctors are there to talk to.  You can tell a doctor you do not want to take pills.  They cannot make you.

You are a brave young person to come on this site and tell people how you feel.  Well done, that is a major step.  There are other lovely teenagers on this site who will be able to share there experiences with you.  There is also a separate site for teenagers with depression.

You sound a very sensible girl, and I do hope you keep posting here.  We really do understand how you feel, and want the best for you.

Take care please and let us know what you decide.

[SMcGregor]

Develop energy and a zest for life and don’t allow time for dwelling on negativity and bad past events.  Self pity is a waste of time so do not play the victim in life. Teenagers like you, who cannot calm themselves down in times of distress will ultimately fall victim to anxiety, irritability, frustration, nervousness, and even a general fear of the world around them.

Make some changes to feel good, here is must be present in our lives.
- good nutrition
- sunshine
- physical activity
- purposeful activity
- good relationships
- adequate and regualr sleep


Regards,

[jenny_paradise]

Thank you for the advice. The letter idea sounds kinda cool and I might try it even though it will take some time to get the courage to do so.

[thatquietgirl]

Would the doctors make me take pills? I'm already very paranoid and not sure how I feel about it.

Re: this question.

They can't make you take anything, but I would suggest it at least until you've had therapy a few months to learn your symptoms, how to manage them, and how to help improve them. If you chose not to take medication, do have therapy.  Do note you may need to try a few therapists to find one you really click with and can open up with.

[thatquietgirl]

We get extremely good at masking our emotions from fairly early on--some moreso than others.  I was depressed for years as a teen, and my family never noticed until I told my mom; they really did care, but I was good at faking a smile even if I could see the difference between my fake smile and my real smile and I had always been quiet as a kid, so they couldn't tell by my withdrawal type behaviors.  Can you write a letter to your closest friend and/or family to let them know what's going on since speaking to them seems too difficult?

I wouldn't run away no matter what.  That will make life more difficult and your chances of recovering from depression far less likely.  You should see a doctor to be referred to a psychiatrist for a med evaluation and a therapist to receive therapy and discover what may be causing your depression.  I would definitely tell your parents at some point.  You can try a letter and letting them ask questions afterward or wait until you've had some therapy (if you can go to the appointments by yourself without needing a ride or money.) and ask your therapist for a family appointment so the therapist can help explain to your parents.  I really would suggest telling your friends and family sooner as a good, strong support system is really key to recovering.  Even if you need to use a letter to do so, they would like to know.  Tell them what you've been feeling, why (if you know), how it's affecting you, how long it's been going on, etc.

I know it's hard to tell a loved one you're suffering from depression, but to have them hold you afterward and tell you they're sorry they didn't notice, that they will do whatever it takes to help you get better?  It's worth it.