We are very sorry you are going through this difficult time. Please speak to your doctor about what is happening and how you are feeling. If the things you've been given have not helped with the depression you are suffering, please speak to your doctor about what to do next so that you can get treatment and be safe. We've sent resources to your inbox. Please let us know if we can help.
Highly unlikely, but if you are trying to overdose you need to go immediately to the emergency room. You need to be in a hospital setting until you get stabilized. The fact you're writing on this forum suggests you really don't want to die, so go to the hospital, get stabilized, and then with a psychiatrist figure out a plan to learn what you do want and how you might get there. Good luck and get help now.