Yep sounds like you are in the depths of depression, I have Bipolar and experience depression far to often. I can relate to the dread of it coming back too. Are you in any kind of treatment for the depression (eg medication, therapy) I think if you aren't it might be good to see a doctor about it, as you can't live like this and you deserve better.
I hope you feel better soon.
I'm not taking anything at the moment I'm scared to take medication :( I have been to therapy but sometimes it just inst enough do you take medication if you don't mind me asking?
Yip i have been on medication since i was 16. Although there can be side effects if you know the risks and what side effects you may get, it makes it a hole lot less scary. Because then you are in more control of whats going into your body and if you notice something you can get it checked before it becomes a big problem. I would definitely suggest seeing a doctor and talk with the doctor about your concerns and see if they think it could be helpful for you and then see if you want to try some, even maybe a low dose to start with and see how your body responds.
Because at the end of the day it is up to you. and if you are not happy with it, then you can always come off or try something else etc, but never feel pushed into it by anyone you have to be sure for yourself.
And just another thought you always could talk to your doctor or psychologist about alternative therapy, including animal therapy, art therapy and things like that. I love painting as i can express myself through it which is great for me.
Hope this helps
I agree with Freddie that you've got a mix of depression and anxiety bringing you down. You said that you "have" been to therapy which I'm reading as past tense. There are many people out there who have conquered their depression with therapy alone. Perhaps you just didn't give it long enough or you and your therapist weren't a good "fit." It is terribly important that you like and trust your therapist to make any progress. Medication is helpful because it gives pretty quick relief for the symptoms while you do the work of figuring out how and why you got depressed/anxious and fix it. Are you fearful of all medicaitons or just the psychotropics? Many people are afraid of them because they don't understand how they work or how they'll feel while taking them. Your doctor or therapist can help you with this, but also as Freddie said, don't take any medication unless you want to. They cannot force you and also don't let them make you feel guilty about your decision. If the medication scares you, it would be totally counterproductive for you to be on it.
One thing you wrote that I think you should share with your doctor/therapist is "........once I feel better, I get scared just thinking about when it will come back."
How long is the time between episodes? Is there a pattern to your depression/anxiety? You also wrote that "for the past week or so, I've been having really bad depression and anxiety." Perhaps I'm a bit confused, but that makes it sound like this is the first time you've experienced these emotions.
The bottom line is that you are not feeling right and should see your doctor for a good physical to rule out any organic issues. Once you get a clean bill of health, you and your doctor can discuss the next step.
Hey green Lydia no this it not my first time with anxiety and depression it's just I don't get it very often but I've had it since I was 17 but each time it brings me down much I get scared I keep it in A lot which is not good at all cause I just drive myself down but I think I reach a point where medication is needed
You are too young, with too much of your life ahead of you, to waste any more time watching your life go by. It's time to take the bull by the horns.
I strongly urge you to set up an appt. with a psychiatrist who will give you a diagnosis of exactly what you're dealing with. At this time you can discuss with him/her your fear of medications. This doctor will then refer you to a psychologist or therapist who deals with depression and anxiety issues and you can get down to the work of figuring out the root cause of your issues and resolve them, learn to cope with them, recover from them. Medication can be a great tool to use during this time. Therapy alone CAN treat depression and anxiety, but it often takens a great deal longer, and you will continue to feel lousy during that process. Why not think about taking something that help you calm down, get your head in a more positive place, lift your mood out of the gutter..........your p-doc and therapist will be there for you if any of the meds scare you. There are so many available, they can try you on several until you find one that doesn't maked you fearful, that does, in fact, make you begin to feel like your old self again. I know you're scared, I just want you to keep your mind open to the possibility of trying something. Which makes me sound like a pusher! LOL
Depression really ***** and I know exactly how lethargic it can make us, but if you want to get out of the hole, you've got to get pro-active in your own mental health.......which I know you can do!
Take care and let us know how you're doing, OK? Need to talk? We're always here.