Hi Cobryn , your first entry was on Nov 17 th.
I hope you feeling way much better today ?
You did good thing , that you reached to somebody .
You have to remember , you are not alone !
Don't be afraid to ask for help . Nobody is going to judge
you ! But please don't take more Tylenol . Did you see doctor ? All the best !
Ps . Please keep us posted
You need to go to your doctor right away. Tylenol is highly liver toxic. You've taken too much. You're probably fine, but you need to get your liver enzymes tested. Then you need to see a psychologist, get diagnosed, do some talk, and determine whether more is needed. Anything trigger this?
Opening the Bible for the first time... that must have been tough lol
I'm not picking at you, I did it as well. There are two primary types of people who open that book. The ones who are afraid of He11 and the ones that feel like they are in it and want to get out.
Please anyone who reads this do not read too much into it. I do not assume I know everything about everyone. I do not wish to fight for or against religion at this moment I am just putting out an observation.
Anyway...
You seem to fall into the category of being in He11 and wanting to get out.
Me saying that turning to the Bible is not a good idea when you are depressed unless you are already pretty well read on it is not a negative statement about the Bible by any means. But if you lived a long time without ever learning about the Bible or going to church then the parables and history in there are going to be confusing and not helpful.
Although, in saying that, I have to keep in mind that most advice that has ever been given either has ties to scripture or can be directly related to something the Bible.
There is likely something big going on that you don't want to talk about. It usually has something to do with addiction, disappointment, or fear. I have not yet met many people that attempted or succeeded at taking their life that did it for any other reason than these three.
Disappointment could include loss. Loss of a loved one, loss of friends, or even loss of personality.
Addiction is self explanatory.... Use and abuse of drugs over time.
Fear is the biggest one.
I have written many poems and theories on depression. It is a very complicated thing and leads to many self destructive behaviors.
I have attempted suicide twice. I have cut myself to relieve the pain. I have taken and abused drugs to numb the pain.
Everything I did was just to escape. I went around the problem instead of going through it. We can do this and sometimes things will resolve themselves over time. Say I am in a bad relationship and it is causing the depression but I am not aware of it. So I take pills to numb myself and I continue on in this relationship. Eventually the person in the relationship with me labels me a pill head and decides to leave....
Problem solved. After I have time to get my head together I realize that the relationship was the problem and once it ends, the pill taking ends. Two problems solved but not by me.
They call it a "train of thought" because that it is a lot like it. You can describe your depression as being in an abyss, a dark hole, or as an anker holding you down. That is how a person feels. But the reason that person feels that way is because the train of thought.
It is likely, and I understand, that you are not even aware at this time what the caboose was that started this but trust me, there was one. Now attached to that caboose is more and more rail cars that makes it harder to stop.
I can give you hope that you can come out of this but it is going to take some time. Starting with hope you can build your way back up to happiness.
First you must believe it is possible and that is the point of this message. I am a veteran with PTSD, a recovering addict, and I have been diagnosed with Bipolar. Not only can I make a smile come on my face today, I also have the extra energy to come on Medhelp and try to help others. I didn't get to this point on my own and I don't take much credit for it, just a little.
You have taken the first step. Welcome to Medhelp:)
I can't really offer any constructive thoughts because I do not know what is going on with you. I will say that you are at the right place though. We discuss depression and offer support from our experiences. You may find help here but you have to open up a little more so that we understand what is going on. I do understand how you feel and trust me when I say I have been there before. But just being able to relate to how you feel is only the beginning. We have to disect what train of thought put on this track.
Have you been diagnosed with a depression disorder? What is going on in your life that has caused you to be so disappointed?
You are definitely taking too much of the tylenol PMs. You know that already and you likely know that it is dangerous. However, until you get your mind clear those overwhleming emotions will not go away. I will not judge you (promise) if you are willing to just lay out what is going on.